Huh's question (3)

Yesterday, or whenever this happened, i wasn't there, but i kinda want to know how it looked like. Was there a notice or something?
Also, i know this site is illegal, but my broke ass is too stupid to learn Korean/Japanese.

I've willingly read some nasty stuff (i don't mean yaoi) and i would never, for no matter what, do it again. It haunts me every day and i can't forget it or forgive myself that I've enjoyed reading it. Is there a way to forget? Or maybe i deserve it? I don't think i can bear with this thought any longer and I can't tell anyone about it because i feel like i will disgust them.
Also have you ever been in a situation like that?

I am really sorry if there are any mistakes but im not native;;

I've seen multiple rules like: "do not upload on ***" why is that?

Are the groups having negative experies with those sites? I think that shouldn't be the case since they'd be less popular without them

Are there any law breaking endangerments? Since they are publishing on a different site it's still illegal (just like reading)

Reasons i listed above may or may not be true so it'd be nice if someone confirmed or denied them

I have no intention to offend anyone i am genuinely curious
And im sorry for any mistakes im not native