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*warning: long rant/ vent*
I’ve never once been in a relationship (or “talking”), never even kissed anyone and I can easily see myself at 30 in the same shoes unless I somehow change my personality. I’ve always had a high guard against people and been shy/quiet, especially around people I’ve found attractive or out of my league. At the end of the day it’s probably a self confidence issue and I’ve tried putting myself out there but that usually leads to me climbing deeper into my shell than I was before trying. I’m genuinely concerned about this because I do actually want a relationship, even a casual one that might not go anywhere- while I’m still young. I know I sound dramatic but I think being like this at my age isn’t exactly normal and my family especially has been pointing that out which might be why it’s at the front of my mind... I just don’t know, I’m tired of being alone but at the same time I don’t want to meet up with someone on some dating site and I don’t get out much because money and even transportation is an issue, I can’t even afford my own place right now and live with my parents. I should probably wait until my situation improves a bit but even then I don’t know if I’ll be able to do anything if I find someone I like. Also everyone I know my age is experienced in these things and Im scared that I’ll get rejected off the bat for being a bad kisser or wanting to take things slowly since everyone I know my age is having sex or has been in relationships and know how to act... I’ve even been rejected a couple of times indirectly without me ever saying anything because I guess I made it obvious I liked them without meaning to... I just find crushes to be scary or stressful and I block myself off from them but I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to make myself dateable.... or something? I feel like I should also point out I’m just average looking with what I believe to be a semi-normal personality, meaning I don’t see any major issues that would explain why I’m in this situation other than confidence and maybe coming off as distant or cold sometimes (I also have the fantastic skill of making things awkward)... I am biased but for now let’s go with the assumption my general personality isn’t complete shit and hear any possible solutions you guys can think of that would help me annnnd go~!