How did I rate this 4 star when I read it first time?!

just re-read this and how come I rated this 4 star when its fucking annoying. what the seme did is unredeemable so now that he couldn't get what he wants he'll torture himself? isn't that so childish and pathetic. the manga may portray it that he became malnourished due to being depress but deep down we all know he did that so the uke will take pity on him. i would say the uke is weak but compared to other ukes that has been treated harshly this one is quite stronger actually and at least tried to move-on and reject the seme at first which i wished he continue to do so.