Red flag but im color blind

I've always thought about that. I'd like a partner who is possessive and sorta obsessive, but at the same time I think I am a person who would like to have a life outside of having a lover. Like for example, if I got a great career opportunity but some people were dissing me, and my fiancée thought "Lemme off them", and then I got blamed for it, and I lost this great opportunity that would bring me happiness and fulfillment, and I just had to rely on my fiancée because everyone turned their back on me... I would frankly... go ballistic