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TJ comes off as a Gross Alpha male

Emihue May 1, 2024 6:37 pm

TJ just grosses me out. I know people hate Ian the most but I don’t see how people see TJ as some caring protector when in reality he Forces Ian to stay with him and Guilt trips him and doesn’t let him move one. If you really care for someone you don’t do stuff for them in order to expect things in return. When Ian in the earlier chapters tried to cut off TJ he didn’t let him. Ian feels like he is in debt to TJ. I don’t see love there it’s all just guilt and lust. Ian feels he owes Tj sex and company. With Jo he doesn’t owe him anything he genuinely wants to be with him and it’s sad he can’t without feeling tied to TJ

Responses
    LaNansha May 1, 2024 9:01 pm

    Aahh, so that’s why some people hate TJ. I was trying to understand why some of you loathed him so hard, but if your understanding of his character and of their dynamic is that he forced Ian and essentially manipulated him into the relationship they have, it makes sense you’d hate him. I wouldn’t be able to read the story until it ended and I saw who Ian ended up with if I fet that way about Ian.

    Needless to say, I’m glad my understanding of their relationship has nothing to do with that. Still impressed some of you can keep reading it when you feel that way about one of the three leads.

    Emihue May 2, 2024 12:23 am
    Aahh, so that’s why some people hate TJ. I was trying to understand why some of you loathed him so hard, but if your understanding of his character and of their dynamic is that he forced Ian and essentially m... LaNansha

    It’s not my understanding it’s quite literally the reality. Ian tried to leave him in earlier chapters And TJ literally said he would never let him leave him and continue to chase after him and Guilt him into continue to see him. Those are facts. If you want to ignore those facts and interpret them as TJ being “protective” you can have that opinion but that only makes him toxic for not print Ian CHOOSE who he wants to be with withou using Ian trauma to hold him down with him

    LaNansha May 2, 2024 12:40 am
    It’s not my understanding it’s quite literally the reality. Ian tried to leave him in earlier chapters And TJ literally said he would never let him leave him and continue to chase after him and Guilt him i... Emihue

    That’s one fact. It doesn’t summarize the entirety of their relationship.

    The way you described it in your first comment, it's as if Ian has no agency. No accountability. Like he was a little boy TJ led around by the nose and it's been going on for so long that Ian doesn't even realize it. You've reduced his character to something so sad that it's borderline pathetic since he wasn't a little boy and they are in fact the same age. Were some of TJ's decisions fkd up? Absolutely.

    TJ actually believes he needs Ian. Like that's his core belief; that without Ian, he wouldn't truly be able to move forward. Ian shares that belief it secretly makes him happy to know TJ can only rely on him. Having helped Ian get off the drugs by keeping him close through going into the gang together, TJ also mistakenly believed it was the only way he could save Ian from suffering the fate his own mother had gone through. This is the root-cause of their co-dependendency. That's why even though Ian has been trying to leave town for years, he couldn't do it the moment TJ's life was in danger. There is also the underlying plot that Ian is unaware of the fact that he actually loves TJ. They've been in their messy relationship for so long that he can't decipher what he really feels for him, so the only way he can describe how much TJ matters to him, is by calling him "family."

    This isn’t a one sided relationship where TJ is the villain of Ian’s life. To believe that is to misunderstand the core of their relationship. You don’t have to like TJ, but both your top comment and your response to me felt like you reduced both of Ian and TJ’s characters into a single line rather than the complexity that is their relationship.

    Emihue May 2, 2024 6:55 am
    That’s one fact. It doesn’t summarize the entirety of their relationship.The way you described it in your first comment, it's as if Ian has no agency. No accountability. Like he was a little boy TJ led arou... LaNansha

    The irony of you comments is how you reduced TJ in the way you claim I did to Ian and provided an excuse for TJ claiming he feels like he needs Ian as if that was a valid excuse to not let Ian move on. Trauma is a powerful thing especially when it happens in childhood. Tj is older and came into his life when he was underage.

    It’s really incredibly how you can write that first paragraph and then write the second paragraph and not see how ironic and hypocritical you’re being. And you thinking he loves TJ is rich when Ian does nothing but continue to push him away and then comes back because he feels guilty for doing so. If he was in love with TJ he wouldn’t have this desperate need to feel like he has to run away and not be in a relationship with him. TJ is an adult and if he feels he needs Ian and you reducing him to that you seem to think TJ has no responsibility for his own feelings and you reduce him to his list for Ian Yikes.

    To me it’s clear you’re bias for TJ and made up excuses for his toxicity. And every character is complex doesn’t change the facts of the story.

    Chechu May 2, 2024 7:44 am
    That’s one fact. It doesn’t summarize the entirety of their relationship.The way you described it in your first comment, it's as if Ian has no agency. No accountability. Like he was a little boy TJ led arou... LaNansha

    I agree that the relationship is more complicated that how op was putting it but I personally don't see TJ the same. Although TJ might believe he needs him, even before the drugs he was completely obsessed with him, to the point of hurting him in secret (even if Ian found out) just to force him to stay by his side. I do believe that love was what made them friends in the beginning but even in that moment when Ian first kissed him (the only time TJ considered telling Ian how he'd rather cripple him than seeing him go, after he was told off and truly felt guilty imo at Ian's pain, which still doesn't make it better btw), Ian did it because he had always known and he'd rather purposely be in danger than alone. With the years, Ian's decision to stay with TJ only crooked the relationship more to the point that TJ's already toxic mindset got worse and ended up with both of them turning to the gang (I don't remember rn if TJ got into the gang before or after Ian started with drugs, I'm pretty sure it was after). That's how all the love they could have had turns into guilt, and they don't talk man. Because I know they still care for each other but Ian can't bear being abandoned by TJ but also can't stand being with him long term since again, he's not a nice dude and Ian doesn't want to be in the gang. And TJ, well we could argue that being obsessed with someone is not really love, but even if he loves him, he's very clearly not good for him, like, if drug addiction wasn't such a trigger for Ian's past and so dangerous, there's no telling he wouldn't have used that to keep him by his side too. TJ is not innocent by any means, he knows why Ian still tolerates him, he knows Ian cares for him and in his own way, he cares for Ian but he'd rather have him chained up with illusions of freedom. He can't give him up be abuse he convinced himself he can't live without him but at the same time keeps himself away because he knows the more he's with Ian the worse it gets since Ian (because of the guilt or maybe being used to it) feeds in to it. So no, he's not a mindless villain, the whole appeal to this story is the complexity of the characters, but bro he is a piece of shit, he knows he's a piece of shit, and he doesn't deserve to be in a romantic relationship with Ian (or anyone for that matter unless he gets a heavy dose of therapy). Ian also needs therapy of course, it's a heavy story but hey, you know how it is you read it too. Now idk how the story will end, but I do know that TJ and Ian being together would be very disappointing for me, not because of shipping but because (at least from what I see now, of course it could change) that would just be omg yaoi magic now all of the toxicity and trauma is okay and he does it because he loves you!! winning again imo.

    Anyways it was interesting to see the different takes, sorry for the long ass reply lmao

    Chechu May 2, 2024 7:48 am
    I agree that the relationship is more complicated that how op was putting it but I personally don't see TJ the same. Although TJ might believe he needs him, even before the drugs he was completely obsessed with... Chechu

    Ah shit it was *because* not *be abus*e, sorry

    LaNansha May 2, 2024 9:02 am
    The irony of you comments is how you reduced TJ in the way you claim I did to Ian and provided an excuse for TJ claiming he feels like he needs Ian as if that was a valid excuse to not let Ian move on. Trauma i... Emihue

    Special Chapter 18.5:
    - Ian: aged 34
    - TJ: aged 34
    - Jo: aged 27

    Now that we’re clear on that, how was my comment reductive? And there’s no boats going on. Yes, I ship Ian with TJ, but I wouldn’t mind Ian ending up with Jo as long as it makes sense plot-wise. And everything I said is purely based on what was in the manga.

    In a season 1 chapter where Jo was talking to Ian, Ian told Jo about having been in love only once in his life. He flashbacked to TJ a few years back. Recalled TJ saying he basically can’t do shxt without him. Then the panel zoomed in on Ian who actually smiled at the thought as he agreed that that was true. The fact that he was the only person TJ felt he could rely on, made him secretly happy.

    And are you just going to ignore it when the author uses a third party to convey a character’s emotions? A few chapters ago, when TJ left and Ian started looking for him, as he was speaking to Jo about it, Jo was the only to realize that although Ian was describing TJ as his family, it looked to him like Ian was subconsciously still in love with TJ. Jo flashbacked to the season 1 scene and thought to himself that it looked as though Ian didn’t realize he was still in love with the person he mentioned before. So when he gave him the advice of letting TJ go in order to respect his decision to stay away from Ian, Jo was lowkey trying to keep them apart so he’d have a better chance with Ian.

    LaNansha May 2, 2024 9:19 am
    I agree that the relationship is more complicated that how op was putting it but I personally don't see TJ the same. Although TJ might believe he needs him, even before the drugs he was completely obsessed with... Chechu

    Ok, let’s be clear on one thing: I agree that everything TJ did to keep Ian close is fkd up. However his boys going overboard to the point where Ian had a serious leg injury wasn’t on his orders. He made a messed up decision that went sideways and because he regretted it, Ian saw it in his face as soon as he entered the hospital. Ian instantly knew it was his fault it happened and he didn’t want TJ to apologize and acknowledge that he’d done that to him because that would end their friendship. Someone that intent on running away, would’ve used that as an excuse to truly run and never see TJ again. Just like he would’ve taken TJ up on his offer to leave when they were in the hospital together after TJ’s accident, but again, he chose not to jump on that opportunity even though he’s almost ready to leave.

    - TJ and Ian have known each other since they were teenagers. I might be off on a few points, but the timeline as I understand it, is that after his mom’s overdose, Ian also started abusing drugs. Whenever TJ wasn’t there, he would just snort that shxt to the point where his life could be in danger at any given time. To keep a close eye on him, TJ who had started to try and be a gang member, decided to get Ian in the gang as well. And the fact that one of the requirements for Ian to be in the gang was to stop taking drugs, was only a bonus. TJ trying to get Ian to get into the gang was also because he didn’t know any better. He didn’t know any better for himself, so he wouldn’t know any better for Ian. Because the two had been with each other for so long as they both believed they could rely on no one else but each other, they developed a codependency.

    Also I jus answered you about the whole “obsession” and “chaining” Ian bit on another comment, so I won’t add to that here.

    LaNansha May 2, 2024 9:20 am
    Special Chapter 18.5:- Ian: aged 34- TJ: aged 34- Jo: aged 27Now that we’re clear on that, how was my comment reductive? And there’s no boats going on. Yes, I ship Ian with TJ, but I wouldn’t mind Ian end... LaNansha

    No bias going on***

    Emihue May 2, 2024 1:01 pm
    No bias going on*** LaNansha

    Yeah no buddy I’m not going to read two of your essays on TJ lmaoooo I stand my case. You can like his toxic ass all you want and show your bias that’s the beauty of reading the stories each person get to root for whoever they want

    hatdiggitydog May 2, 2024 8:24 pm

    bruh what.....

    you can have your opinion but this really shows you didn't understand the story that well if that's what you got out of this whole thing lol ian is a grown man he is not being forced to do anything girl please reread before commenting things like this it kinda shows you're just here for the smut and haven't grasped anything else......

    LaNansha May 2, 2024 8:54 pm
    Yeah no buddy I’m not going to read two of your essays on TJ lmaoooo I stand my case. You can like his toxic ass all you want and show your bias that’s the beauty of reading the stories each person get to r... Emihue

    At least I know now not to have conversations with you. This was as one-sided as your understanding of the story. Have a good day. I hope we never speak again.

    hatdiggitydog May 2, 2024 9:48 pm
    At least I know now not to have conversations with you. This was as one-sided as your understanding of the story. Have a good day. I hope we never speak again. LaNansha

    LMAOOOO you're my new favorite person <3

    Emihue May 2, 2024 11:14 pm
    bruh what.....you can have your opinion but this really shows you didn't understand the story that well if that's what you got out of this whole thing lol ian is a grown man he is not being forced to do anythin... hatdiggitydog

    You’re right your proof you can misunderstand a story completely because you literally did lmao TJ is a grown sad man that can go get therapy no need to go chase another man around to put his baggage on just because he’s obsessed . Your comment really shows that you don’t have reading comprehension and you’re one of those people that seem to think being toxic is cute like yikes

    Emihue May 2, 2024 11:14 pm
    At least I know now not to have conversations with you. This was as one-sided as your understanding of the story. Have a good day. I hope we never speak again. LaNansha

    Honey you don’t have to say bye you can just stop replying Lmaoooo