Oh btw when helping people I do find it satisfying when they thank me but that's not my main reason yk
Even when it comes to an event I got into recently (which was competitive) the moment I got in (which I was surprised and happy about for a moment) then I just couldn't help but feel the standards of the company probably weren't that good if they would accept me of all people... Okay now it feels like I'm fishing for sympathy
God I hate how sensitive and emotional I get at night
Hey so you're not alone. It's not even night for me and my eyes kept leaking as I read the scenes leading up to confession and then confession and yea. Wasn't full on sobbing but I had to roughly wipe my cheeks and eyes to see the screen clearly
This type specifically where one character feels not deserving of the other or like the other deserves to be the happiest and they are not the ones who can make them that (even though they are yk)
Because for example chapter 26 the confession scene I think. I literally just paused chanyoung's crying face and proceeded to cry my heart out then I talked to myself
"From a third person's perspective, chanyoung you look very sweet and lovely, being able to cry and confess shows so much courage you should be proud of yourself, doesn't MC deserve someone like you who wants the best for him" I say this through a bunch of tears and in barely a whisper
Then I say "but chanyoung if I were you I would feel so embarrassed, so so upset, you must be so upset, especially since we know that things will work out well but if this was reality we'd have no clue and you're probably so upset to be confessing like this rather than something that surprises or makes them happy, also I'd feel so guilty, I'm basically pressuring the one I love to be considerate, my crying is just pressuring them and even if it was a good answer it's probably just put of guilt, they deserve so much more than this yet I decided to cry and embarrass myself huh, and now we are gonna lose our friendship and it will really be over for good, how do I move on from this..." As I say crying even more damn tears to the point where for most of this my voice isn't even coming out
Legit every time I read stories like this I cry my heart out and I think way too much in the perspective of the one in the unrequited (not that I'm in love at all) but I do have low self esteem and tend to feel guilty for things that are often not a big deal and I'm super self conscious of what others think of me so I'd say I'm quite a people pleaser, I tend to do quite a bit for others and be really helpful (but it's not because I want to help, I just want them to think well of me and think that im a good person yk) so I really admire the characters for having the courage to confess but I also feel for them way too much. Even when talking to myself I literally feel the hopelessness of their character, it's not like it was written or drawn fantastically I just create way more lines and make it way more hopeless than the actual situation is. But tbh this is kind of a trait I like about myself, I like that I can feel so strongly for fictional characters (though not in front of others) and I like that I can empathise (it makes me feel like I'm a decent person)
Anyways I just had to rant about this and preferably I'd also like it if you are similar or perhaps know someone like this?... Thanks for your time, ps sorry I just wasted like 5 minutes of your life you're never getting back