The reason he said "I hate you" was because they both agreed it will be the safeword. A safeword in BDSM play is a word (usually completely unrelated with no chance to be said during BDSM) that announces that the partner has reached their limit and needs a time out. Normally BDSM can be dangerous, both parties need to respect one another otherwise it stops being with concent.
When Mao agreed to the safeword being this (chapter 3), I assume he did it also because he also has some self hate. Honestly, it's a bad idea to have a safeword that holds actual meaning. Saying "orange" for example would be obvious it's random and be fit as a safeword.
Mao perhaps agreed because he thought that he would indeed immediately stop if Yuma were ever to say that. It would be an instant sting to the heart, and instant cold water to his dom urges.
In chapter 4, what happened was... Yuma lied that the play they have been doing is indeed not enough for him (soft, casual, loving command play with no pain, no bites. Command play with just safety, living a slice of life). Again, Yuma lied! He was indeed very content with this lifestyle. Mao was scared, he tried hard to please Yuma in this safe environment and show him that non painful play can be satisfying too. Btw, here i will assume it was also Mao's wishful thinking that he can also push down the urges to inflict pain and love Yuma without them. Mao was trying to also be content and satisfied with this much too... He was also training himself...
Anyway, so Mao, who is SCARED of going wild... Is scared to inflict pain (even though he loves it) said he will go alone with Yuma's desire to be bitten, so he won't leave. He said he will stop the soft and safe play and go along with biting Yuma (Again, Mao has been avoiding it out of fear. He feels guilty he likes to inflict pain... He was taught that it's disgusting, it's scary. So he is also... Disgusted by his desire...
?? Idk how to post my whole writing, first time i write a comment..so I wont use paragraphs?: In that moment, Yuma, who has figured out that Mao feels guilty of inflicting pain, that it's not smth he wishes to do to others... Wanted to stop Mao from doing the thing he hates the most, the thing that scares him of himself. So he used the agreed upon safeword. He can't make up a new one, even if the safeword was... unfortunately, also fitting/could be misunderstood as an answer to the desperate question "do you love me?" - Yuma knew exactly what was going on, however he didn't want Mao to be doing things that make him feel like a monster (Yuma knows Mao hates biting/inflicting pain) - Ofc, they ended up both being truthful, that they both do enjoy the desires of the other, and so... Both can be comfortable that the other will not be hurt/disturbed by their desires. - My favourite BL "I have to be a great villain" has the mc with a similar problem... Try reading it, you'll understand better the feelings of people with sadistic desires and the emotional weight it might carry... - This was a good story actually, and depicted things very well. Sorry for not using paragraphs, idk why it won't post everything. A word limit?
Chap 4 Seme keep saying he loves him and asked him if he love him too, and what?? Uke's internal monologue "i love him i love him" , THEN WHAT HE SAID IS "i hate him?? let's stop this??"
BULLSHIT!!!!
UKE IS SO DROWN IN HIS INTERNAL SPEECH HE CAN'T HEAR SEME SPEAK HE'S FOCKING DEAF AND DUMB
THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING AS FUCKKK
It didn't satisfy me when they get together. Cause WTF was that? Unnecessary shit
3 star