Yeah like, he's not handling it well ofc. He does need to communicate. But imagine his side of things. She almost died, all those broken ribs and the blood she was covered in?
Ofc he's going to be so angry, maybe not at her but himself and the situation.
And he can't fully yell at her bc she did actually do a good thing.
But this is a pretty Understandable reaction. Not a healthy one but a realistic one
Exactly! She almost fucking died and she miscarried, how about he thinks about her for a bit instead of just centering his pain? He is soooo emotionally illiterate it hurts
I think you misunderstood my comment. I'm empathetic to him rn too. It's bc of all of those things that he's upset.
I agree. Like I'm kinda pissed off that people are shitting on Riftan again; sure he could have softened the blow, but he's terrified for her, especially after the extensive damage, along with the fact her using so much mana was taking away bits of her life force too. He's not perfect, he's human and I think people need to realise that. He's also a soldier who is currently on the battlefield even if its mostly ended, he wasn't raised by women either, he was raised by mercenaries, so how is he supposed to know to communicate in a certain way towards what he believes is a young pampered noble woman. He's brutish and rugged, he was raised to be a soldier, not a husband. His main female interactions revolve around a princess who fights beside him on the front line, and servants who listen to his every word so both require a different type of ettiquette, even if one of those women happen to be a princess, it still requires him to interact with her differently than Maxi.
Deep down, he's in as much pain as Maxi at the moment, only Riftan's pain is mental. People need to understand exactly what Riftan's character and personality is before just instantly taking Maxi's side. Yes, Maxi saved everyone and everyone is grateful, but she also placed her life in danger too, and as a husband that terrifies Riftan, he's scared if he allows her to continue that it will kill her and he will never forgive himself if it kills her.
Plus- SPOILER BELOW...
He's also just been told he lost his child and is wanting to hold the burden of being the only one to know because he knows how much that information will crush Maxi and he knows she'd blame herself much like he's doing, so the idea that he told everyone to keep the miscarriage from her makes sense.
He's *never* thought about her. He's only ever thought about himself. How her "disobedience" makes *him* uncomfortable or angry. How her actions affect *him,* instead of asking *why* she decided to take such reckless and drastic measures. In fact, when you really think about it, Riftan isn't protecting Maxi, but rather he's protecting himself from dealing with the pain of losing her. Hell, I'm pretty sure Maxi herself even calls him out on this in Book 2 of the novel. That's why he pushes her away, it's why he's restricted her agency, and it's why he's never made any genuine attempt to under her feelings or what his overprotectiveness looks like from *her* perspective. What's most disappointing, however, is that even after Maxi calls him out on this, the narrative doesn't revisit this argument, nor does it have Riftan reflect, apologize, or take rightful accountability for his selfishness. I understand caring about your loved one and fearing for their safety, but the moment you restrict their autonomy, your protection starts to feel less like love and more like tyranny.
Yes, but the laws of autonomy and selfishness has no place in war and on the battlefield. Actions like that will cause death, injury and chaos. Maxi is naive, she is a sheltered, abused noble woman, who has never even seen a true battle in her life and she believes it to be okay to ignore her husbands wishes, and the wishes of her people (because the remdragon knights are her people too) for her to stay safe and protected back with the other wives.
Her "disobedience" makes him uncomfortable because on the battlefield he needs to trust that EVERYONE will listen, not just the knights, but the medics, the healer, EVERYONE. If Maxi disobey's a direct order because she feels she can help (even if it does in the long run) it causes conflict because he then has to keep an eye on her at all times so she doesn't get hurt or her actions don't put others in danger either.
I understand that you may view it as controlling, but he is a commander on the battlefield, he literally cannot be her husband out there, because one moment of weakness can lead to tragedy. Yes, he's partially protecting himself, because he loves her; that's not a bad thing, he wants her to be safe and protected because he believes she is nothing but a sheltered loved noble daughter (which we know isn't exactly true, but atm Riftan is unaware of how Maxi's family treat her).
Maxi is well within her rights to argue about automony at any point, to fight with Riftan to do what she wants... EXCEPT at WAR or on the BATTLEFIELD, because Maxi can't protect herself, she has no stamina, no training (minus the little mana training she did with Ruth, and even then super powerful attacks put her out of commission which is what has just happened).
The only thing Riftan needs to apologise for atm is the way in which he's addressing everything, and the way he's communicating with Maxi. The conversation over Maxi's autonomy and free will can come at a later date when she is no longer on the battlefield and is safe at home where she physically cannot be put in danger; because atm she's now more of a liability than a helping hand since her injuries (even if they are mostly healed now), so Riftan sending her away is the best course of action right now (even if what happens after she returns isn't safe for Maxi - aka her father).
The problem is, is people look at this situation from a relationship point of view, rather than a realistic point of view. Yes, Riftan's actions may look like they're toxic red flag behaviours when it comes to a relationship, but realistically, he's simply wanting to make sure no body dies when they don't have to. Maxi, his knights, fellow knights from other branches. He wants as many people to return home to their families as possible, the monster pose enough danger as is, so they cannot afford one single liability who knows nothing of a battlefield to essentially mess things up (same goes for Idsilla *i think that's how it's spelt*). Neither Idsilla/Maxi is equipped for wars or monsters like the healing party/knights are, so if they don't immediately fall in line and follow the higher commands orders (not just Riftans) it can lead to death and tragedy.
I understand that this isn't what a lot of people want to hear, but just because Riftan is approaching this situation as a commander and not a husband doesn't mean he's toxic or controlling. He's simply doing the best he can, which is why he and his knights were willing to lose their titles as knights and flee with Maxi to get her to safety which would have placed them as deserters and condemned for the rest of their lives.
You also need to understand that Maxi's actions can cause a lot of political issues within the kingdom, forcing Riftan's hands over something that could affect the other knights or his dukedom which may be catastrophic later down the line. I also love the hypocrisy that Maxi is allowed to be selfish and do as she pleases because it improves her character and ability to stand up for herself, but Riftan isn't allowed that same courtesy without getting hate comments and having people call him toxic, simply because he is being selfish in wanting to protect his wife and fellow soldiers and knights who are already putting their lives on the line as is.
Wow. Okayyy, where do I even start with this “battlefield excuse” nonsense? Let’s get one thing straight: Maxi’s decisions aren’t reckless because she’s naive or because “war is dangerous.” They’re reckless because **Riftan has spent the ENTIRE NARRATIVE undermining her agency, silencing her, and refusing to communicate like a partner.** The battlefield framing doesn’t magically erase that.
You say she’s “well within her rights to argue… except at war or on the battlefield.” So basically, you're saying: “Your autonomy is fine—just never exercise it where I don’t approve.” That’s not concern for her life. That’s control disguised as command. Maxi isn’t some random knight you drafted last week—she’s an adult, an active decision-maker, and yes, sometimes she miscalculates. That doesn’t make her incapable. That makes her human. And if you actually read the text, you’d notice she suffers the consequences of those miscalculations anyway. Riftan’s overprotectiveness doesn’t prevent harm—it just adds emotional manipulation on top of it.
One thing worth mentioning, notice how Riftan uses his title as commander to coldly dismiss Maxi’s concerns in Chapter 98-99 of the manhwa:
“I thought you wanted to be treated as a mage and not my wife. You were the one who insisted on joining the campaign against my will, so you should damn well obey your commander's orders.”
That line isn’t about strategy or safety—it’s pure ego and control masquerading as authority. He literally weaponizes his rank to punish her for daring to make a choice he didn’t like. Maxi’s reasoning, her concern, her intent—none of that matters to him. It’s about Riftan asserting dominance, and he hides it behind the veneer of being a commander. That’s the pattern: personal offense disguised as “duty,” repeated over and over, keeping Maxi silenced and isolated.
The “he can’t be her husband on the battlefield” argument is the lamest deflection I’ve seen. Newsflash: he is her husband. Part of being a partner in this story isn’t just raw tactical command—it’s taking responsibility for how your actions affect the other person. Riftan isn’t doing that. He’s using “battlefield rules” as a convenient shield to justify emotional and physical intimidation. Maxi’s safety is supposed to matter—but it’s repeatedly subordinated to Riftan’s ego and control.
And this gem: “The only thing Riftan needs to apologize for atm is the way he’s addressing everything, and the conversation on autonomy can come later.” Oh, so all chapters—fuck it, ALL 5 SEASONS WORTH of silencing her, forcing her to bend to his paranoia, and much later in the novel—weaponizing intimacy as punishment? Totally fine—just wait until later to make it about respect. That’s textbook emotional abuse being excused with “he loves her, so it’s fine.”
If Maxi’s choices are “dangerous” because she’s an untrained noblewoman, then maybe Riftan should TRAIN HER, COMMUNICATE WITH HER, and treat her like a goddamn human being, instead of stonewalling, cornering, and punishing her for even trying. That’s the part you’re conveniently ignoring. Protecting someone doesn’t mean dictating every damn action or stripping them of voice and agency. And yes—Riftan’s insistence on control actively creates the chaos he claims he’s preventing. Go fucking figure.
Bottom line: your battlefield excuse doesn’t make him a good commander, it makes him a controlling partner hiding behind tactical rhetoric. Maxi’s autonomy isn’t negotiable because “war is scary”—her suffering isn’t magically justified by his supposed love.
"she's not a knight under his command"
Correct, she's a civilian. They are in the middle of war. A civilian with only medical training is not meant to be on the front lines.
Her "autonomy" is the same as any other civilians in war. She is our protagonist but at her current state and position she is just another noble lady who's never been in war.
No one is saying her suffering is justified.
They're just saying this is a nuanced situation.
He does need to communicate better. His silence IS hurting Maxi.
But his wife almost died putting herself in harms way after he attempted to sneak her away and they discovered she was pregnant and miscarried.
He is taking all of that so she doesn't have to.
Two things can be true at once.
Please learn some nuance
Also please stop using spoilers to justify your argument. Some of us haven't read the novel and the manwha hasn't even caught up to those points in the novel. You can't use the future to justify something in the present.
You can discuss what Has happened and what Is happening but not what Will happen.
Bc we also know manwhas aren't 100% faithful.
Alright, first off, yes, Maxi isn’t a knight—but that literally does not give Riftan the moral license to silence, manipulate, or physically intimidate her. Being a civilian doesn’t erase her autonomy, her agency, or her right to make decisions about her own life. She isn’t a liability because she’s a noblewoman or inexperienced—she’s a human being who is consistently denied a voice in situations that directly affect her. Calling her a “civilian” like it magically cancels out emotional abuse is laughable.
Secondly, the “nuanced situation” line is exactly the problem. There IS no "nuance" in weaponizing love and rank to control someone’s decisions. Maxi almost died because she was actively silenced and her decisions were constantly overridden or punished. That’s not a tragedy mitigated by “he tried to sneak her away”—it’s a direct consequence of Riftan’s pattern of control. You can’t handwave it with “he’s protecting her, so it’s fine” when the protection itself comes bundled with manipulation, intimidation, and emotional harm.
And let’s talk about this “he is taking all of that so she doesn’t have to” line. Oh, please. That’s not selfless protection. That’s taking her trauma, her grief, and her agency onto himself while simultaneously gaslighting her. Maxi’s suffering isn’t magically neutralized just because Riftan internalizes it. And the fact that the narrative repeatedly lets him do this without consequence while expecting Maxi to bend and forgive? That’s exactly what’s being critiqued.
Two things can be true at once? Sure, Riftan is hurting because he’s invested in her safety. But that doesn’t erase the fact that his methods—stonewalling, silencing, cornering, punishing, and emotionally coercing her—are abusive. Maxi’s suffering is very real, and framing it as a simple misunderstanding of “nuance” is insulting. The nuance isn’t in excusing his behavior, it’s in acknowledging that yes, he loves her, yes, he’s worried, AND yes, he is repeatedly creating the very harm he claims to prevent. Instead, what do we get?:
No reflection, no accountability, no meaningful or visible behavioral changes whatsoever.
So no, sweetie, hon, girlie, you don’t get to tell people to “learn nuance” while defending a man who uses love and authority as a weapon against his wife. That’s not nuanced, you're just delusional.
Hey you do know that this is a fictional story right? You think you're projecting super hard rn.
Like is your heart racing typing all this? Seriously calm the fuck down lmao.
This is a Story, you ARE supposed to discuss and acknowledge nuance.
You're acting like he's going back to his tent and rubbing his hands together with evil intent while he laughs maniacally.
This is a man who has Only lived by the rules of war. Ofc he's going to approach all relationships that way at this point in his life.
You're expecting a man who was considered such garbage by his own country he was sent to war with GOBLINS and shit to DIE.
And you expect him to learn to communicate with his wife immediately?
This is not a modern day story, there are no therapists or kind parenting.
If it was I would absolutely agree with you.
But it's not.
Keep in mind Maxi has been with him for what 2 years? Has she learned to communicate fully yet? Has she told him about her father or her past? Not yet!
Neither of them know how to communicate. That's the overall theme here.
Yes he handled this conversation completely wrong. But you could use your exact same argument to critique her actions here too.
If she had healed and taken more of an effort to say "hey why are you acting like this/when you do this it makes me feel unsafe/please communicate what's wrong" or Something
Then maybe the conversation wouldn't have ended with him sending her off. Bc all she did was sit there. I completely understand the shutdown of anxiety, but she still has a responsibility to herself and her autonomy to speak up for herself.
Nothing will change if she doesn't speak up for herself.
You're giving her a lot of grace while giving him none.
No, I don't think I will, sorry, lol.
Cool, you haven’t read the novel yet—but ignoring established patterns in the story to excuse abusive behavior isn’t a valid argument. Spoilers aren’t ‘future justification’; they’re proof of what the character repeatedly does, has repeatedly done throughout all 5 seasons of the manhwa, which already explains Maxi’s reactions. That’s not just baseless speculation either. I'm simply including novel spoilers to give contextual proof of his lack of development and repeated abusive behavior.
"You're giving her a lot of grace while giving him none."
Cuz he don't deserve it? ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
Also, this bit of irony:
"Nothing will change if she doesn't speak up for herself."
Gee, I wonder how many times she attempted to communicate—more often than Riftan, that's for true—and I wonder how many times her attempts ended in being shouted at, stonewalled, or doorslammed by her husband. Are we even reading the same story at this point?...
And then, the typical "calm down, it's just a story," meanwhile your previous comment implied I lacked nuance just because you disliked my criticisms and assessment of Riftan's character. Argue with the toilet, I frankly don't care anymore, lol.
Did she really try enough though? Did she stop him from leaving, did she yell at him?
Du
Did she say anything after he said this in the last chapter?
She has made attempts and I can see progress in her. But if I'm to use your very own logic, she is still not fully doing enough.
You Do lack nuance bc you're saying Maxi has nothing to improve while Riftan is this nasty evil man abusing his wife.
That is a no nuance opinion.
You're single minded.
You don't just have criticisms, you're just spewing some weird ass rants and refusing to take any criticism yourself.
"Talk to the toilet" ?? What are you 12?
so true!
And I always wonder how they expect her to communicate when he is avoiding her or shutting her up, for any proper communication you need at least two willing participants (and I’m not even talking about his anger issues)
At the end of the day, people are hypocrites. They go about "YAY Maxi girl boss" "she's trying to become better" About her trying to overcome her abilities and her mistakes don't matter because she's doing what she wants as the protagonist who's trying to become a strong fl protagonist. But for Riftan, "Booo he's toxic" "he's manipulative" "hate him" like can you genuinely not see how much hypocrisy is in that narrative.
Like stated, neither of them are great at communication, it's a big flaw in their marriage as a whole. It's something that they need to overcome in the long run. That much has been present the entire time, it's always been about them growing from the people they were to the people they can be together, not just Maxi or Riftan seperately.
Maxi needs to trust others (especially men) with her troubles, and Riftan needs to realise that he can look at life from a gentle side, not one of a bloody commander, who needs to fight and be on guard all the time. Communication is the only way in which they will achieve that, and it will be a slow time before they achieve that because they have to heal their wounds from the way they were raised.
But expecting Riftan to be okay with Maxi's action is stupid, and expecting to not look at this from a realistic point of view; a viewpoint from both Maxi and Riftan's, isn't going to get the answers you want. They BOTH need to do better.
I didn't comment on this to shit on Maxi, and protect Riftan, I did this from an outside point of view who understands (psychology student) both sides in detail. We have more information as readers about each character, but the characters themselves know hardly anything about each other.
Also, you need to take into account this is medieval historical fantasy, women didn't exactly have the overall say in a marriage, hence why Riftan and Maxi's ARRANGED marriage was proposed, it was decided for them, neither wanted it in the beginning. But even so, they grew to love one another and cherish the lives they have; which is what is the driving course to both of their decisions in these moments. Neither of them want to lose the other, which is why Maxi pushes herself to accomplish more than she can handle so the people she cares about don't die or get hurt. But on the other hand, Riftan physically NEEDS for Maxi to be safe so he can have a moment to relax where he's not agonising over her safety while he's at WAR.
Yes, it's selfish on Riftan's part, just like Maxi has been selfish for joining them on the battlefield, but Riftan needs to be a commander whether you like it or not, because he is in charge of soldiers lives, one wrong decision and hundreds are dead; and then you'll only go to blame him for his mistakes. He doesn't get time to rest as a commander and he's stressed, but Maxi being there adds more stress to his case, because he needs to rearrange his troops so at least one capable knight is there to protect his wife.
In the end, both of them need to sit down and talk about their lives and how they want things to proceed for their marriage to work, BOTH OF THEM. A marriage doesn't work without trust and communication.
YES EXACTLY THIS
This argument only works if you pretend both characters are operating on equal footing—which they’re absolutely not. Maxi and Riftan are not criticized differently because readers are “hypocrites,” so you can spare me your condescension. They’re treated differently *because their arcs function differently.*
Maxi’s entire story arc is about actively confronting her trauma and growing past it. She studies magic, pushes through her fear, takes responsibility when she fails, and repeatedly puts herself in difficult situations so she can become more capable. Whether her choices are always smart or not is beside the point—SHE'S AT LEAST TRYING, and the narrative consistently shows her putting in the work to change.
RIFTAN DOESN'T DO THAT.
What fans keep calling his “character development” is usually just reluctance followed by resignation. He doesn’t meaningfully reflect on his behavior, he rarely takes accountability, and the narrative repeatedly cushions his actions with the same justifications: trauma, stress, protectiveness, love. That’s not growth—that’s the story softening the consequences of his behavior.
And no, saying “they both just need to communicate” doesn’t magically balance the scales. That argument ignores the power dynamic in their relationship. Riftan is the one who yells, intimidates, restrains, and tries to control her autonomy. Maxi’s flaws come from insecurity and mistrust after years of abuse. Riftan’s flaws come out as anger, control, and volatility. Those are not equivalent problems.
So praising Maxi’s development while criticizing Riftan is not hypocrisy at all. It’s recognizing that one character is actively working to change while the other is repeatedly excused by the narrative, and you've failed to notice this detail.
The “medieval setting” defense doesn’t help either. Historical context might explain why certain attitudes exist in the world, but it doesn’t automatically justify the story framing those behaviors as romantic. Plenty of historical stories depict toxic behavior without pretending it’s devotion. Not to mention, if we're using that same argument, you're honestly telling me that other male characters such as Sir Hebaron and Ruth are capable of treating Maxi with utmost respect—regardless of her title as a noblewoman—and yet her own husband is somehow completely incapable of achieving the bare minimum of that? Sure. That makes sense.
And the “he’s stressed because he’s a commander” argument misses the point entirely. Stress can explain why someone lashes out—it does not absolve them of responsibility for how they treat their partner. Being under pressure doesn’t magically transform harmful behavior into character development. I genuinely cannot stress this enough, and I'm sure you won't care to understand because you're deadset on your own opinions, *but no one is asking Riftan to be perfect.* What readers actually look for in a redemption arc is pretty damn basic: acknowledgment of harm, genuine accountability, and visible change in behavior.
When those things are missing—or only show up at the very end after hundreds of chapters—people are going to call it what it looks like.
Stagnation, garbage, and wasted potential.
@Bunni since you blocked me, I'll directly tag you anyway, not that you'll see it, but I guess this'll serve more as a final "up yours," because users like you—who accuse others of lacking "nuance" and general reading comprehension while simultaneously making incredibly broken and weak rebuttals really miffs me in a personal way.
Lol, you’re calling my take “lacking nuance,” but your entire argument boils down to “Maxi didn’t try hard enough.” That’s not nuance—you're just shifting responsibility onto the same character over and over.
Maxi has tried to communicate MULTIPLE TIMES throughout the story. The problem is that those attempts often end the same way: Riftan shuts down the conversation, gets angry, or leaves. Communication doesn’t work if only one person is expected to keep pushing WHILE THE OTHER REFUSES TO ENGAGE. At that point, saying “she should’ve tried harder” stops being an analysis and starts being blame-shifting. Your examples make that pretty clear. Asking why she didn’t yell at him or physically stop him from leaving ignores the fact that Maxi was raised in an abusive environment where simply speaking up was punished. The story spends a lot of time establishing how difficult confrontation is for her. The fact that she tries to express herself at all is already meaningful growth for her character. Expecting her to suddenly shout or physically block someone from leaving isn’t nuance. It's moving the goalpost so that her attempts never count for shit.
You also keep misrepresenting what I actually said. I never once claimed Maxi has nothing to improve or that Riftan is some cartoon villain. Criticizing Riftan’s behavior isn’t the same thing as reducing him to a caricature. Characters can be sympathetic and still be wrong in how they handle situations, you know. That’s LITERALLY where the complexity of their relationship comes from in Under the Oak Tree.
Nuance also doesn’t mean pretending both characters are equally responsible for every conflict just to keep the scales perfectly balanced. That’s not nuance — that’s flattening the dynamic. Nuance is recognizing that two characters can both have flaws while still contributing very differently to the toxicity of their relationship.
*Maxi’s flaws tend to manifest as insecurity, avoidance, and self-doubt.*
*Riftan’s flaws manifest as rage, control, intimidation, and sexual aggression.*
Those are not equivalent forms of harm within a relationship, and pretending they are in the name of “balance” doesn’t make the analysis more "nuanced," as much as you like tossing that word to sound like a pretentious poet—it just erases the actual troubling power dynamic the story portrays. What’s ironic is accusing someone else of being “single-minded” while reducing the entire conflict to “Maxi didn’t do enough.” That’s not a "nuanced" reading of the story; at that point you're just ignoring the pattern the narrative itself repeatedly shows.
And the personal jabs—calling my argument “weird rants” or asking if I’m 12—don’t actually address anything I said. If the discussion has to fall back on insults instead of engaging with the argument, that usually says more about the strength of the rebuttal than it does about the original critique. Defend Riftan all you want, but you're way out of your element here.
For once i'll stay on riftain side. She got hurt pretty bad this time so i don't blame him wanting to send her away. Still there're better ways he could have put it down but we'll come back to that later