Ik some of you are gonna get mad at me. Its fine get mad at me idrc I just want someone to answer my question
With a brat, yes, it is normal. That is why they are brat, they go against the Dom, no matter what and because their relationship isn't him being brat only in the bedroom, he is behaving like a brat even outside of it. So basically he is allowed to do anything he wants, the fact that he is hiding that he loves the Dom, makes him even worse. Going on time would mean he admits he has feelings in a way, that he cares, so he pretends he doesn't by not showing up.
Hello! Irl kink educator here! Brat dynamics are different for every brat. Some are truly antagonistic like the sub in this series, some are more mischievous and teasing, some pout and throw temper tantrums like a toddler, some act like spoiled and demanding princesses. The thing all brats have in common is the fact that they like the dynamic of being "put in their place" by their dom. To phrase it another way, they want the dynamic of not being submissive to their dom by choice but being MADE to submit. The back and forth power dynamic of the sub refusing to give up control and the Dom taking and keeping that control away from them is usually what a brat is aiming for.
The difference between this couple and brat/brat tamer dynamic is that these two seem to be a 24/7 lifestyle couple. In real life, that's very few and far between. Usually a kink headspace (sub/brat/little/pup/kitten and dom/brat tamer/Daddy or mommy dom/ owner) is reserved for scenes and safe spaces for kink dynamics like munches or sloshes. Usually people are their normal, everyday selves outside of their kink dynamics and can provide genuine conversation, comfort, reassurance, and unpack emotions after scenes. People scene for a lot of different reasons, whether it's because they want to add some spice to normal sex, or they want to process certain emotions in a safe and controlled environment, or they want to feel a certain sensation because it's grounding, or because it helps them get out of their own head, or it's just fun. These two clearly scene because it's very tied to their sex life and sexual pleasure. But they also carry that dynamic out into their real lives.
In the real world in a real BDSM relationship, a person wouldn't/shouldn't cross a genuine boundary. For example, if I said "hey this is a really special event to me, I really want you to be on time", my partner would most likely work hard to make sure they're on time and if they weren't it would most likely be by accident. But if we were making plans within the context of a scene and I said "hey this is a really important event and you need to be on time or you'll be punished." knowing my partner and I planned a scene where we agreed that they'll get punished for doing something bad and my partner made the choice to be late because they wanted to be punished, then that would be within the parameters of the scene. The difference here is communication, negotiation, and consent.
Irl what the sub did wouldn't have been cool because his partner truly expressed the date was important to him and he ignored that, which is shitty regardless of their BDSM relationship. But since he's a very dramatized brat for the sake of a story, I apply the "everyone communicated and consented to this being a possibility" mindset and suspend disbelief.
OMGG THANK YOU FOR ANSWERING I know BDSM is not all rainbow and sunshine and I'm aware that this is a very very vast community so you can expect to find almost everything but I feel like this would have shifted my view of BDSM if this was something that would have been accepted in real life (meaning in the case that this was not something that both ppl agreed upon). Because no matter what to me this is simply being respectful and loving to your partner. Thanks for the very detailed answer
I'm happy my answer helped! And I totally getcha. It's important to know that BDSM/kink in fictional series like this prioritize the fantasy of BDSM over accuracy and education. Which is totally okay as long as people reading KNOW that it's fantasy and not reality.
Real life BDSM and kink are built on consent, negotiations, communication, and safety. Without those things it's just unhealthy, toxic, or even abusive behavior. Everyone engaging in a healthy and safe kink scene should agree to what happens in the scene, know how to communicate within the scene via safewords or safe signals, have their limits respected, be ready to provide care and support through aftercare (which should also be discussed and negotiated as part of the scene), and be understanding and able to talk if a boundary gets pushed by accident. A person who pushes boundaries on purpose without consent is what we call a "consent violator". In my opinion, the sub in this series isn't a consent violator because it's heavily implied the two mc's have a dynamic set between them that they both agreed to ahead of time. In a real world scenario, if the Dom was truly hurt by what happened, it's responsibility to communicate that to his partner and not use BDSM as a replacement for genuine conversation and conflict resolution. And it would be the sub's responsibility to pause the dynamic in order to listen, apologize, learn, and provide care/reassurance.
Wow. Real life kink educator. Hello. Real life actually using end enjoying kink here. Like you behave like you are big deal.
You are welcome. I also answered, but of course you care not.
Sorry and thank you for answering it's just that to me your answer fitted more on what was happening in the manhwa rather than real people who practice BDSM and that's what I wanted to know. I have a hard time believing that someone cant have basic compassion just because they are a brat... unless ofc they both agreed from the start that things like not going to a special event (their 1st year anniversary) would be a part of their relationship
YES exactly this makes so much more sense with the little things I know about BDSM. Thanks for your answers btw its very interesting to hear a fully elaborate view from someone who seems experienced with everything related to bdsm
I thought I knew at least basic knowledge when it came to BDSM but ig I'll always be surprised no matter how much I read and watch about it.... soo basically I was so frustrated by the sub not going to their 1st year anniversary that I just dropped this. I know this is part of the brat act (or maybe just his personality idk) but like isn't this common decency to come when someone invites you to celebrate an important event?? Ik at the end of the day this is just silly drawings and whatever but I got so mad like brother be a human dont always think with your dick omg. Is this supposed to be a normal thing in BDSM? I genuinely wanted the dom to just drop his ass. But anyway this was good while it lasted ig..