real, i have these thoughts too despite not actually wanting it, i think it’s because of my cptsd
no in my case i want it T_T like i would love to get my soul shattered, for the artistic brilliance and poetic nature of it all. like im not kidding, i want what satoru and suguru had. absolute SOULMATISM.
I feel you(=´∀｀)人(´∀｀=) unfortunately the closest I’ve gotten was not fun.. one side usually likes the other more. As for me, it’s hard to accept anyone liking me to that degree without it feeling like they’re delusional about who I actually am, so it doesn’t feel like they’re delusional actually like me, just some fantasy concept that doesn’t exist
i dont know what "healthy love" is. i love reading codependent, jealousy, obsession, possessive love stories that are tragic and codependent to catastrophic degree, the type where when the person loses their sense of self (if they had any) after the other person leaves. it's like, i love when the characters make the other person their life. like, they never comprehend the other person as a seperate individual human being, they consider them two to be a single entity almost. like, i love peak obsessive yearner stories. and bonus if it's queer. eg: firefly wedding, yuwon everlasting(BL), satosugu (jjk)
why am i like this? i dont think this is healthy, BUT this is exactly what i want in a relationship. i like the codependent yearning mutually obsessive toxic to the world, "they won't understand it" type of relationship.