Kotaete my drifter
Jujutsu Kaisen– SatoSugu story (jjk isn't a BL but stsg makes me throw up blood. so hurting)
Hmmm probably Die In My Arms ( https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/die_in_my_arms_kaizen_scan/) is a good fit? I want to say No More Eurydice too ( https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/no_more_eurydice/)
Into the rose garden
The fallen lamb
Hikari be my light (mini serie like alien stage but it's so amazing please watch it)
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/the_specific_heat_capacity_of_love/
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/geu_kkeute_issneun_geos/
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/haruka_tooki_ie/
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/my_childhood_friend_was_a_god/
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/december_rain/
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/perle/
Pearl boy
Missing love
Any recommendations for an absolutely gut wrenching, traumatising bl? I feel like torturing myself