Yourravenbich

Sounds like you guys are adults and independent in your own ways..it’s not wrong of you to feel like this I think what you can do is set rules. You guys are family but I don’t think it’s so rude to ask this, clearly you have a schedule of your own and if your sister wants you to cooperate it’s only right she does too whether she is older or not, point is that you guys are living together and it makes sense to set rules if you are having frustrations.

Rules as in if it’s the time to go to the gym (if you haven’t already you should set a time to when you’re going to gym instead of random) then she can’t make you clean and cancel your plans, and if its time to clean you can’t cancel with the excuse of going to the gym because that’s set at a separate time. Makes sense right? There’s no reason for her or you to make a fuss .

Wow that’s sounds so logical, thank you!!! Can I please vent more I have so many things I want to talk about but can’t tell my friends or anyone at all!!
My sister and my bf are friends he met me through my sister and blah blah and we started dating! My bf and my sister are still friends and I’m totally okay with it but one time I was calling my sister through his phone and saw their text messages! My sisters and my boyfriend talk bad about me to each other! Like little things how I get mad and it gets hard for them to approach me or those little things! She talks about our family issue to my bf which I don’t want him to know and he also talks about how I can be little annoying to him!! I don’t know how to feel about it. I thought about talking to them or even tried but I can’t! I don’t have the courage.
I don’t know how to feel about all these give me some advice Ik its best to talk it out but can you suggest something other than that?

Honestly, why r u still staying with him?
Girl don't degenerate your value. Find a man who can respect you, not one who easily bring you down.

You guys need a chore chart. As long as you tick the chore off your chart before you go to bed then tell her not to ruin your schedule

Well yeah the best thing to do is to confront but if you don’t have the courage then you should think about why are they close like that.

You said that you don’t want him to know of your family situation, why? Reasons like too personal or you don’t want him to know that side of you? Besides the talking behind your back part your sister and boyfriend might be close because your sister talks about personal things like that.
I don’t know why you don’t want to open up to your boyfriend but normally it’s expected to open up in relationships and that might be why your boyfriend is so willing to talk behind your back because you don’t open up to him like a girlfriend does.

But to be honest your boyfriend doesn’t sound like a good person. Beside you confronting him, if he has something to say about you he should be communicating with you not your sister. If you really want to find a way about this you can, but honestly it might drain you to deal with someone that can’t communicate with you when from what it sounds like you need someone who communicate with you because you struggle with it.

You sound like you have a pretty good healthy schedule and if you want my genuine advice I’d say to not bother. Set rules with your sister and all and if you get the courage after having a think about things you can confront them then if you come to the same conclusion I’m thinking of then tbh I think you should not give that dude the time of day.

For you to experience your boyfriend that’s meant to communicate with you talk behind your back to your own blood is seriously weird. You deserve better

I do talk about my family issues but I take time to open up, he knows it too. Honestly I kinda felt betrayed from both my sister and my boyfriend, the family issue they were talking about was recent, something that occurred few weeks ago. I’m not the type to just immediately share things especially something that’s happening in my family.
Like he is my boyfriend I should be allowed to tell my boyfriend the family issues and my sister too she is my sister he shouldn’t be talking bad about me to my own sister.

I wish they maintained their boundaries. Idk if I’m overthinking things cause they’re friends and it’s should be okay. I haven’t told anyone about it and I really wanted to vent it out, this has been eating up my brain. I’m lowkey annoyed with both and just want to be stay alone and be on my own zone.

I seriously wish it was that easy but now I definitely have different feelings and emotions about him. I still like him but it’s a different emotions now.

Your feelings are totally valid you’re really not overthinking things. Yeah not telling your boyfriend everything immediately is okay honestly a good thing, from the sounds of it there’s nothing from your side that should have him acting like that other than the fact he has a bad character and looks down on you.

Don’t do that to yourself alright, as in letting them step over you and being blind to it. You’re feeling betrayed and upset for a reason and if all you’re hitting is a wall that they’re selfishly putting up I don’t think you should bother. Move on with your life when you do there’s gonna be someone and other things that deserve this attention you’re wasting on them.

There’s no excuse like being friends to have them talk bad behind your back. Talking behind your back is strange but talking bad is seriously horrible and weird. That sounds like a boy and you deserve a man. Your sister also needs to do better, I cry a whole river when someone talks bad about mine to think one would ever talk bad about their sister with someone?? That’s horrible.

Have self respect for yourself and honestly distant yourself to heal. No confrontation is needed if that’s okay for you as long as you can move on regardless.

By the way, you’re welcome to come vent here whenever and however long. Honestly would be appreciated if you would update on your situation and that hopefully you take action and put yourself first.

Honestly it feels so nice to vent out and hear people’s opinions, i don’t like sharing some things with my friends and I don’t want them to know either. It gets so awkward. Seriously thank you so much! This was so therapeutic, I feel good! I should vent out more but rn I have nothing to vent lol.
Will surely update on my situation still confused on if I should just walk away from all these or at least talk to my sister and let her know but again I don’t want to.

Yeah all good just don’t disclose specific information like names and better yet use fake email so none of the stuff you vent will link back to you.

For now you could just think if you don’t know how to feel. Again don’t have this just pass like it’s nothing because it’s not just overthinking. But take your time with your thoughts just continue living life don’t have this affect your days :)

Yeah that’s so true thank you, you are so nice!! Definitely made my day

This was beautiful.

If you did not consent then it is an assault
Hope that you're in good health
And if you do have someone you can really trust you should consult with them and if you're willing to, confront the "guy" with someone on you're side

Were you both tipsy? But i do think he raped/sexually attacked you. I hope you can over come this girl. sorry this happened to you

That dude is such a bitch the audacity to look at you with disgust and blame you. Im so sorry you're going through this, I think you should tell friends you trust.

If what u remember is correct than no doubt u were!! （/TДT)/
And damn that guy cause he has a PhD in Gaslighting and he was tipsy(?...?) Should have either locked him or urself safely if he HAD to stay over or just send him away with the others...

thats is SA and im so sorry that happened to you. Please take care of yourself and know its not your fault at all. Talking to people you trust might help you come to terms with it and perhaps figure out if you want to press charges which i recommend, that disgusting piece of shit shouldnt be allowed near anyone else. Obviously, thats only if you are prepared and wanting to.

If you're not ready to tell your friends, please at least to to your doctor and have it on record. They can make a note of it and also check you for STIs, and if you are feeling confident in the future then you can go to your doctor and ask for the record to make a report to the police.

But I do also think, if you can, tell your friends. You may save them and other girls from the same fate if they know that he is a rapist. You shouldn't let him get off unscathed socially just because you don't want to cause a fuss. It's okay to be in shock and processing right now though. If you have a close girl friend tell her, and then maybe she can tell everyone else for you, if it's too much for you to tell the whole friend group.

I am so sorry that you had to experience something so horrible
It's definitely rape and you are %100 innocent, based on what you just said

Please ask some trustworthy adult for emotional support
I highly recommend you to get therapy and also get tested (you can get a rape kit in the ER of your regional hospital)
If the assault happened less than two weeks ago, they might be able to gather his DNA and you can take legal action

And if I were in your shoes, I'd definitely tell everyone
I know it's hard and I know it takes a lot of courage, but you might be able to save his next victim and also punish him by ruining his social standing

And if you ever need to talk to someone anonymously and vent out your frustration, you can direct me and I'll try my best to comfort you if possible

You are not confused. You said you see him as friend and you didn't want do it with him. So you did not agree
Please tell your sister ( if you have her ) or close friend. And go to the doctor!

It is definitely rape.