This is good yet felt unsatisfying at the same time. Art is good, plot is nice and characters are interesting. However... it has a heavy tone that it doesn't quite deliver on. It feels like it should have been quite a bit longer.
It has topics such as death, rape, abuse, neglect and more yet they are handled so lightly. They will be touched on, the depth occasionally acknowledged, and then moved on from instantly. This feels unfufilling.
There are also a number of things that feel as if they've been left unanswered, but in a way it felt like they were forgotten about.
Basically- it feels like a full length novel was condensed into a short story. Enjoyable but like something is missing.
This feels like a writer had a bunch of scenes in mind and forcibly tied them together. It's less about a plot/story and more about "exciting" scenes playing out. It would be fine if it didn't present itself as a deeper story. The amount of inner dialogue makes it appear as of the author wanted this to have feelings attached, but that is all thrown out by how the characters interact.
I mean.... really? The trope that gets this rolling is a "straight" guy going to "teach" his gay friend how to have sex? What? That doesn't even make pretend sense. That's like saying I'll teach someone how to be vegan by feeding them meat. It makes no sense.
This strikes me as a writer who had a bunch of scenes in mind but didn't consider how to make them cohesive. Everything is very fast paced and jarring. You don't have a chance to connect to any of the characters before a new one is introduced... and then another. :S Everything that happened within 15 chapters could have made for a compelling story if it had been spread out to maybe 50 or so. This would have given time for things to build and for us to get an idea/opinion on characters.
But no. It goes from "thoughtful guy who gave space to uncle/nephew" to a sudden "yelling and accusing partner, most likely hot headed."
Then "infatuated because uncle has a nice body" to suddenly "protective, standing up for uncle, borderline lovesick behavior, annnd acting like he knows everyone involved and calling out others faults."
Oh and "friend with unrequited love for years who always acted like a stable rock and source of advice" to "yelling at uncle, looking at him like he's a whore and passing instant judgments."
Like, how much of a yoyo can these characters be? The writer clearly had an idea about the characters when coming up with the story... only to not share any of it with us.
You took the words right out my mouth, thank you for explaining so clearly because it was just that..
Its wayyyyyy to fast paced
Seriously.. just the characterization is making no sense?! It's such a a cheap cop out to try and justify the end game. I'm really glad most readers feel the same
It changed so much that I thought I missed a 5 year timeskip or something. Characters look older, and have lost facial range. Expressions feel very cookie cutter, whereas in season 1 they had feeling put into it. I tried to keep going... but I feel a strong disconnect now.
It's not that the art is "bad" it's just very different from season 1. So much so that it gives the story a different vibe. If it started out with this art I don't think it'd feel so jarring. But the change totally switched up the reading expierence for me. I feel less connected to the characters, their emotions and the plot overall. It just strikes me as a bit hollow and unfinished.
This makes me think of a first time author who jotted down a bunch of ideas and was determined to fit all of them in. It leads to fast pacing, overused cliches and awkward characters. It feels like it wasn't well thought out, and instead has been rushed to completion. Just another MC who activley works towards changing a plot only to... be suprised/worried the plot is changing
I can already see the checklist
-cold ML who falls for FL instantly, despite notoriously not liking women
-cold ML who is only warm to FL (for some reason this is supposed to show how special FL is, instead of the reality ML is self centered)
-ML is so crazy for FL he is obsessive/possesive, (cuz apparently that's supposed to be "sweet")
-contract relationship with time limit (that will constantly be mentioned)
-FL takes over evil woman, begins acting nice
-abused child who is suddenly treated well (since trauma is apparently easily fixed with a smile)
-Prince who likes/needs FL (because we need royal drama)
-magic that is unique to FL (need some excuse for her to be relevant, after all)
-FL starts to fall for ML, but thinks he doesn't like her (again, need drama)
-ML likes FL but won't just say it until much later (I guess honesty is less entertaining than season long miscommunication/misunderstandings)
Art is pretty tho. Gotta at least give em that.
Yupp.. Hope the author grow and write better in the future.. Bcuz people always starts somewhere.. Too bad tho.. I like stories with loving parents and kids.. Plus getting super dried off reading materials... Hope more good ones will show up soon
Cute art and characters, that's for sure!
However... I wish it wasn't so short. It really left me feeling like this was an unfinished draft that was changed into a short story. No character development, no real info on the characters in general- just short fluff. I can tell the writer put thought into it from the author's note... so it would have been nice to see that realized.
As pretty and cute as it was, I felt rather meh about it. MC felt very childish and only gets his way through his tears. He comes across as a total child. I understand that ML finds that "endearing" but as a reader it feels kinda off putting. All I can think of MC as is a manchild who would need ML to play the mommy role. It just reminds me of all the women complaining that their men expect them to do everyyyything to the point of feeling like a mom. xD
I wish this was at least 20 chapters and that they touched on A) MC taking care of himself like an adult B) brief explanation of imprinting, or hinting that they imprinted C) ML voicing his thoughts D) MC doing something to show ML he cares for him beyond just crying.
Why did it have to go the full blow rape with a bleeding arsehole route?! "We love you, so let us get you drunk and then use you like an object with no care for your wellbeing," is such an unneeded aspect to add into this. Why throw in the whole "love" word when they are more focused on their own physical pleasure than his? It would have been perfectly fine if they went the drunken "mistake" route where they coerced him into it type of noncon. But nopppppe. They go the rape with no regard for his body's health route. A torn anus and undoubted hemmroids for the poor Uke in this one. :(
It's decent in terms of the outcome.... but the execution of it all is really sloppy.
It feels rushed and like she simply stumbled into it. If it was that easy to get rid of him, then why did it take soooo darn long? She didn't succeed through a smart plan: things went wrong yet magically fell into place. Feels really hollow to me.
I get that this was a smut first and plot comes second, if that, kind of story but... building so much dislike around a character for such an u rewarding send off is pretty disappointing. Feels like the author got tired and decided to wrap things up as quick as possible.
What type of misunderstanding warrants this?! Are they going to make us believe it's because MC didn't want "ML" to get adopted?
Guy who is your friend and you rely on doesn't want a certain family to adopt an omega.... maybe it's because that famy is bad news?! Please tell me this isn't all it takes. If this is the misunderstanding, a simple MC trying to protect ML being misunderstood? If so that's hella lazy writing.
Because how does it make sense you would trust/care about someone enough to be hellbent on getting revenge, but not even bother to make sure your assumption about them is correct? How do you make that jump with direct proof they were involved?
For example: If I was kidnapped and was told "your husband sold you to us" well... I wouldn't believe it. Unless I saw video evidence, or him in person, conducting the sale- I'd consider it the lamest attempt at turning me against him. Why? Because our history together let's me know that would never happen.
So how can ML trust/care about MC sooooo much that he wants to get this crazy revenge and yet put 0 time thinking or caring about why MC has been looking for him? Like, that is such a forced misunderstanding- if that's what it's supposed to be. MC is literally crying out his name and willing to do whatever to find Mido. So all ML has to do is ask why? Why do you want to find him?
But no. Instead it is a stupid rapefest every damn chapter. This feels like "No Reason" all over again.
Omg thanks you so much you're so fuckin right
NO that is absolutely not the reason. What happens is he’s being sold off to a family as a child prostitute and the MC does not agree with it
Right- MC doesn't want him to be "adopted" by a bad "family." I used the term adopted, because that's what the orphanage would refer to it as to the other children if they asked about where he went. MC was trying to protect the ML. From the flashback, it appears ML misunderstood this as the MC not wanting him to get adopted.
What I was saying is that, if this is the misunderstanding (ML thinking MC didn't want him to get adopted, when in reality MC was against ML getting sold off) then it's not really compelling and could easily be cleared up.
It’s not that I can explain but it would give spoilers regardless if spoilers though the ML really has zero justification for his rape
I agree- there's no justification for it, or rape in general!
I am not the best as communicating via text, so maybe I did a poor job at wording things. I did try to include "if that is what it's supposed to be" in refrence to this being the misunderstanding in question, as I can only go off what has been implied thus far. My comment was meant to imply that, if this is the misunderstanding at play- it could easily be cleared up, thus ML's actions are even more difficult to see. I'm just going off of what has been portrayed so far. Which appears to be that ML blames MC for his predicament in his younger years, where in reality MC was always trying to protect ML and isn't responsible.
Essentially I'm saying ML is in the wrong, and that it's odd he cares enough to hate ML to the point of going through this deranged revenge - when he doesn't seem to care enough to clarify if MC is even to be blamed. It just seems odd to harbor such hatred without ML putting any thought put into seeing if his misunderstanding is even correct.
You make perfect sense don’t worry
I agree w everything you said, his revenge feels painfully forced.Like you said it’s confusing how he can be so obsessed with getting revenge but everything else goes out the other ear. him and MC should’ve teamed up and get revenge on the people that ACTUALLY harmed ML.
I’m only reading it for the good art rn. I get ML has been through some extremely traumatic shit but I hope he finds out the truth sooner than later and feel some regret.
This is decent, it just has a few things that irk me.
The primary annoyance for me is the fact that MC being colorblind and ML being scentblind is poorly utilized. It comes up so very rarely I forget it's even an aspect of the story. This could have given much more content to the plot if utilized properly. The fact they both needed to struggle in their fields would be great bonding fodder. Instead it's used in a minor conversation and never brought up again.
This would be the same story without them being color/scentblind.