JUL's Things

I had a crush on this person and I am too much of a coward so I never confessed or even spoke to this person. Let's call them A and I have a classmate B whokinda annoys me cus they don't do any work but we do kinda get along. Now I went on a class trip recently and I saw Aand B are together. Anyone can see A really likes B. A was lit helping B with everything walking around them only....Asp they even stole my bus seat(which was a 2 person seat which I usually use cus it has the perfect window location. It's not too front so lots of air flow and not to back that the sir hits ur face and the window opens fully unlike in some seats you can only open a lil bit. And no one sat next to soi can listen to sad songs all I want. Did I mention it's not too front such that I don't have to talk to the staff and not too far that I will be talking to the group.) which made me extremely mad but later I could see that they had mutual feelings for eachother. Which made my quiet sad but I am trying to move on but throughout the trip they were everywhere I was- taking coupls pics he carries her shwt and gawd damn so annoying. Now that the trip is over I am peacefully reading bl at home but I still can't stop myself but imagine them everytime I see something they did in whatever I am reading. For eg- they took a sunset picture and the bl I am reading has a couple who do pls help

I'm not American, Just curious about world history.
No disrespect to 9/11 victims and rescue people.

I wanna learn ml like idk ANYTHING but I really need to get an internship too...I can't apply anywhere cus I don't have any skills to apply but I really need a internship n remote btw I don't wanna larp I really don't know what to do....I really need a ml internship please help y'all...i hv no exp, no skills no proj...even if I ask someone to teach me everyone is selfish(which I get ittt) I'm lit out there begging ppl to teach me....I don't want to learn from chatgpt! I wanna learn from actual ppl! Contribute to open sourse stuff but no one is helping at all PLEASE BRUHHH IDK WHERE TO FIND SHITT

I dont know why but i feel sad regularly and like randomly, I know better than ask random people online for mental health advice but i am here to find out if people also feel this way, and if i am having some sort of mental issue. I dont have any money right now so even if i wanted help I cant really get any and I feel like i want to die but I dont really wnat to kill myself like whenever i pass by a building I just think about dying and so on...I really dont know what to make of this...I know I feel lonely and stuff but I dont know why I feel sad now, i have friends that I can talk to, a family I can talk to but I just cant seem to bring myself to talk to them...