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InsomniacEnigma May 31, 2019 4:11 pm

Y'know, I started reading romance stories and listened to other people's love lives irl because I wanted to know how it works.

After all these years I somehow understood a bit more about how people fall in love. Like how they initially find a certain trait/quality attractive and they become attached to that person as a result; then that leads to love?

Some would take their time to get to know the person and slowly develop that love overtime, but others immediately *snap* falls in love as quick as a few days or a few minutes of encounter. This is common in mangas, but it also happens irl(?) (according to the people I have spoken with; both online and irl).

How does that work??? I still have no clue. Does it depend on a person's standards? So does this mean that the people who falls in love easily have low standards? Wait- that doesn't make sense; that even sounds a bit insulting to a degree. Please explain the emotional aspect of it. I know that it is quick to gain interest in someone, or even liking them to some degree, but love? That's kind of stretching it a bit.

From my understanding, 'Like' is when you are attracted to someone where you feel shy/nervous; or there are cases where you would have a 'cuddly' or 'relaxing' feeling by being around them. 'Love' on another hand happens when you have come to know them a bit more; where you have grown to accept their imperfections and still care for them. Are these 'definitions' correct? If they are flawed, then please explain.

If my definitions are somewhat correct, then how is it possible to 'love' so quick?? Are they simply mistaking 'love' with 'like'? I heard that that's a pretty common misconception. But then again, there are those that honestly claimed that they are 'in-love' with 'that certain someone', so I honestly don't know what to believe.

I gotta be honest, I haven't fallen in love or even liked anyone romantically, so I honestly have no idea about the emotional aspect of it. I may have 'liked' some people, but I believe that's just myself tricking my brain to think like that because that 'like' didn't feel like anything; I didn't feel any nervousness or 'heart-pounding' moments, just mere curiosity but... I get curious of people all the time, so I don't think these are the feelings of a romantic 'like'. How do you know the difference?

TLDR:
- How is it possible for someone to fall in love so quickly? Please explain the logical and emotional aspect of it.
- Like and Love; what are your personal definitions of them?
- How do you know you like/love someone if you have never felt it before?

I'm sorry for the long post.

    Psycho May 31, 2019 4:58 pm

    there is a difference between being "in love" and love the other person. being in love is a strong like, and refers mostly to the physical attraction and some parts of the character(in a relationship that is basically the first 6 months when u get to know the person). on the other hand, loving the other person refers to a deep connection which occurs when you know the other person and accept all his/her flaws. when we are talking about "love" we dont talk about appereance at all. being "in love" and love coexist for a period but most of the times at some point being in love stops and only love stays...

    as for "like" and "being in love", well at first you like the other person then u start being in love with him/her. how easily u fall in love doesnt depend on ur standards, but on ur character. if u are the kind who falls in love easily then probably u are a hopeless romantic and you are thinking about building a family (not always). on the other hand, when u dont fall in love so easily means that u've think about it in more than one aspect. this is not necessarily good or bad. there are 4 things that we look for: 1) attraction 2)character 3)values 4) family role. when u are in ur teenage years u mostly search for 1 and 2 (and 3 a little) but as u grow up u start to think about all 4... the thing here is: we get confused because at first 1,2 play a really important role and thats why we cant think clearly.

    i believe that when you like someone u would also consider other options if they occur. if u are "in love" then its like u are on drugs so u cant think clearly and want the other person exclusively. when u love someone u are on ur right mind and u are able to think what is wrong and right, and want the best for the other person. u consider his/her side and u dont act selfishly.

    when you like someone u want to be close to them no matter what and you are attracted to them. u would consider kissing them, hugging them, looking at them etc. when u are "in love" (as i said, a strong like) then the only difference is that u cant stop thinking about them. when u love someone, well YOU KNOW. love doesnt suddenly appear, u work for it and so is the other person.

    Sugureta May 31, 2019 6:13 pm

    Most of the people I met will always feel "love at first sight" when the other party is attractive.

    Others might pretend or deny that "its not always like that" but when the attractive party shows motive you will also bite at it.

    InsomniacEnigma May 31, 2019 7:07 pm
    there is a difference between being "in love" and love the other person. being in love is a strong like, and refers mostly to the physical attraction and some parts of the character(in a relationship that is ba... Psycho

    o.o wow that's so interesting, thank u for sharing ur perspective in this! I didn't know that there was another stage between like and love before; I thought it was just a blurry border all these time, why didn't I realize this sooner?! Now it makes sense why I always confuse these two way too much. You explained everything so briefly and clearly that I'm speechless! Thank u very much!!

    InsomniacEnigma May 31, 2019 7:14 pm
    Most of the people I met will always feel "love at first sight" when the other party is attractive.Others might pretend or deny that "its not always like that" but when the attractive party shows motive you wil... Sugureta

    haha yea, it most likely ends that way eh xD I guess they just can't help it?

    Love May 31, 2019 7:26 pm

    I think there are different forms of love. I think the english language does a poor job explaining the difference between them because we don’t have words to describe them.

    I think “Falling in love at first sight” is more attraction, which is more of a child love than something deep.

    Being “in love” is when you are so happy with your partner that you get a good feeling in your heart

    “Love” is more of an outlook. Like I love them because...

    And “lust” is when you are sexually attracted to somebody but don’t really think or want a future with them.

    In the end a realtionship is give and take. They are a person you want to spend time with and also satisfy needs you don’t want to do with people on just a friendship level. How you love somebody doesn’t really matter as long as everybody is happy where they are at. And if something is wrong then talk about it.

    Psycho May 31, 2019 7:46 pm
    o.o wow that's so interesting, thank u for sharing ur perspective in this! I didn't know that there was another stage between like and love before; I thought it was just a blurry border all these time, why didn... InsomniacEnigma

    haha no problem, that is my point of view^^ when u start a relationship u will also see the differences...the way we experience love difers from person to person but there is always some common ground (๑•ㅂ•)و✧

InsomniacEnigma May 24, 2019 5:47 am

I am literally going insane cuz uni, so I need to procrastinate for my mental health. My project due date got extended to next week, so I have a day to relax. Plz tell me what to draw cuz my brain is dead.

    Anonymous May 24, 2019 6:12 am

    um,, porn idk

    Aiko❤ May 24, 2019 6:43 am

    Try making a oc? Like maybe something supernatural like a beautiful mermaid or siren idk I’m really feeling mystical vibes rn

    InsomniacEnigma May 24, 2019 12:05 pm
    Try making a oc? Like maybe something supernatural like a beautiful mermaid or siren idk I’m really feeling mystical vibes rn Aiko❤

    Alright, thank u :3 that sounds like a reasonable one

InsomniacEnigma April 6, 2019 1:38 pm

Can anyone please recommend me some yaoi where there's a different/extra character that falls for the mc, and they enter some scenarios that makes the ml feel really jealous?

It would be nice if the it was an intense jealousy (or at least you can feel that heartache with the ml's reaction).

Ik this is a really cliched and unpopular trope since the author is using another character to make the main couple closer, but dang I can't help but love jealousy situations because of their reactions.

    Anonymous April 6, 2019 2:14 pm

    ff

    GreenVeggies April 6, 2019 9:17 pm

    Lol same I had a phase like that and started hunting for yaoi mangas that are like that. Umm problem is I can’t remember them anymore ( ̄∇ ̄") but I’ll do my best to try and remember

    GreenVeggies April 6, 2019 10:09 pm

    @InsomniacEnigma
    Okay this one definitely has jealousy in it as far as I can remember. The intense jealousy scenes isn’t until a bit later on but just stick with it, you’ll definitely feel the intensity of the jealousy ^_^ http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/dakaretai_otoko_ichii_ni_odosarete_imasu/

    This one I like too, one of the first ever yaoi I’ve read ^_^, it’s part of a series (I think there are 3 parts?) very deep jealousy the uKe is like head to toe marked ( ̄∇ ̄") http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/mujihi_na_anata/

    This one has some jealous scenes here and there from what I can remember ( ̄∇ ̄") that and umm well Maya is just ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄ http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hidoku_shinaide/

    This one’s jealousy although very clear it’s not really caused by love interests it’s just the ml is the secret possessive kind lol if you know what I mean ( ̄∇ ̄") but it’s a cute read http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hinekure_chaser/

    This one has a brief jealous moment to a character that’s not really a love rival but the jealousy felt by the ml is very deep and in that same chapter it’s so heartbreaking bless him http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hinadori_wa_shiokaze_ni_madoromu/

    Hopefully you haven’t read all of them ^_^

InsomniacEnigma March 22, 2019 6:19 am

Random thought. You know, from what i've read in bl, there are tons of stories where a straight guy realizes he is bi or gay. It made me pretty curious if there are any stories out there where a supposedly gay/lesbian, suddenly falls for the opposite gender, unsuitable for their supposed sexuality; so in other words they became straight! I just find the idea interesting since I haven't encountered that type of story yet. If anyone knows any stories like this can you please share it with me xD I'm really curious about it. Thank u in advance!

    being-you March 22, 2019 6:30 am

    okay in this one uke was insecure & slept with lesbo college & then had kid & then uke started loving her ...But B got her karma & died ...
    http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/complex_manda_ringo/

    InsomniacEnigma March 22, 2019 6:53 am
    okay in this one uke was insecure & slept with lesbo college & then had kid & then uke started loving her ...But B got her karma & died ...http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/complex_manda_ringo/ being-you

    ooh that's interesting, thank u very much for the recommendation! ^^ also woah that's a long manga xD

    Langchimaple March 22, 2019 8:11 am

    You might end up hating the story tho.The guy is gay and the girl is lesbian
    http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/utopia_of_homosexuality/

    being-you March 22, 2019 8:19 am
    You might end up hating the story tho.The guy is gay and the girl is lesbian http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/utopia_of_homosexuality/ Langchimaple

    yuck i hated this one ... it was frustrating & unrealistic & a total waste of time ...

    being-you March 22, 2019 8:22 am
    ooh that's interesting, thank u very much for the recommendation! ^^ also woah that's a long manga xD InsomniacEnigma

    (⌒▽⌒)

    Langchimaple March 22, 2019 9:02 am
    yuck i hated this one ... it was frustrating & unrealistic & a total waste of time ... being-you

    Yeah

    Mavikelebek March 22, 2019 10:35 am

    I know one story but I couldn't remember. Her mother and father died in airplane crash and after years she met with her father's ex boyfriend lol she learned her father was gay but fell in love with her mother. Haha her face was so good when she realized (≧∀≦)

InsomniacEnigma March 18, 2019 4:32 am

Does anyone remember that yaoi manga where the mc enters the ml's house (forgot why) and the ml thought that the mc was his little brother; I believe the little bro is dead and the fella was really mentally affected by it. The mc pretended that he was the little brother for a while, but soon fell for the guy; he wanted to stop pretending, and he wanted the ml to look at the real him, not as a brother substitute.

I suddenly remembered this plot a moment ago and I wanted to reread it. Ah- but if anyone has any recommendations of mangas with a similar plot, then I would be happy to know them as well. Thank u in advance ^^

InsomniacEnigma March 7, 2019 3:04 am

Can anyone recommend me some good mangas with a "rival" type of chemistry where one of them has unrequited feelings for the other? I really like these types of stories and I suddenly felt like reading some. Thank you in advance ^^

Something similar to http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/karasugaoka_don_t_be_shy/

InsomniacEnigma February 23, 2019 4:50 pm

Can someone recommend me some yaoi mangas where a masochist turns into a sadist or a sadist turning into a masochist. I am curious if there are any stories like that, and how it would happen. Thank u in advance ^^

    takame February 23, 2019 7:55 pm

    I remember a kakaiRu fanfic that has a scene like that haha.
    Anyways this is quite close. Had A part 2 titled motto-something.
    http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/shigekiteki_na_kankei/

    InsomniacEnigma February 23, 2019 8:59 pm
    I remember a kakaiRu fanfic that has a scene like that haha. Anyways this is quite close. Had A part 2 titled motto-something. http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/shigekiteki_na_kankei/ takame

    ^^ thank u!

InsomniacEnigma February 12, 2019 11:00 pm

Shoujo or BL idm either way; could anyone please recommend some stories where a playboy suddenly falls for one person? I find it cute when a guy changes his ways for one particular person.

I would prefer it if the playboy is a dominant/cool/arrogant type instead of a slutty/loose/bitchy type, since I've seen a lot of mangas from the latter.

InsomniacEnigma January 31, 2019 2:38 pm

Just something random for the day. There are times when my grandmother can't hear me no matter how many times I repeat something; sometimes I just tell her through charades xD she tries for a bit, but just tells me to give up and forget about it; especially if it takes too long.

    Fujoshi_Lick January 31, 2019 2:42 pm

    why not write it down?

    thetrapsbottom January 31, 2019 8:33 pm

    aaw thats cute... its a good idea, tho... i dont have to deal with my grandparents, but i have to deal a lot with my husbands grandparents, and one of them is almost deaf. i will try it out~ ლ(´ڡ`ლ)

    InsomniacEnigma February 1, 2019 4:16 am
    why not write it down? Fujoshi_Lick

    it's fun to joke around sometimes xD it's not that they don't like it tho

    InsomniacEnigma February 1, 2019 4:18 am
    aaw thats cute... its a good idea, tho... i dont have to deal with my grandparents, but i have to deal a lot with my husbands grandparents, and one of them is almost deaf. i will try it out~ ლ(´ڡ`ლ) thetrapsbottom

    ohh I see xD well hopefully it works out. Some elders are strict, so it really depends whether they feel playful when u do it

    thetrapsbottom February 1, 2019 11:47 am
    ohh I see xD well hopefully it works out. Some elders are strict, so it really depends whether they feel playful when u do it InsomniacEnigma

    Yea ur right!

InsomniacEnigma January 26, 2019 5:28 pm

Just a random rant I guess? I love how this site has a dark background; I can read it while I am in bed before sleeping. It just really hurts whenever the screen goes white when the loading process takes longer; like it's too blinding xD especially since I read before bed, so it's dark. It's sad how I often forget about it and it just surprises me; now my eyes hurt and I'm wide awake...*sigh*

    Bananan!!! January 26, 2019 5:50 pm

    One of the main reasons why i use this website to read manga.

    InsomniacEnigma January 27, 2019 2:48 am
    One of the main reasons why i use this website to read manga. Bananan!!!

    u want to be blinded and stay awake? xD

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