beta
I was just looking for a story with a bit of Mafia involved and I was not disappointed. It’s not overly complicated, but the two characters are honestly so cute with each other. I guess some aspects of the story could have been more explored, but I’m definitely fine with the way it is now. An adorable, nice and short story to read, with a hint of drama. I loved it!
I honestly don’t think everything is to be thrown away but there are quite a few things that annoyed me about this story. I’ll start by the positive ones ; I felt like the plot was surprising enough. The fact she wasn’t the only one being reincarnated, that it was the three of them and it was actually linked to the accident in the first place felt fresh and nice enough. There was a certain degree of satisfaction. I liked the use of recorders cause I’m often joking like I hope you recorded this confession somehow! when characters confront their archnemesis and here it happened… maybe even a bit too often?
I have to say something, the main relationship is not bad but I had a hard time getting too attached to them. I skipped through a lot of their pages. It is also tied to the fact that the translation isn’t very good. Actually sometimes the chapters are fine or more than fine and other times I have a hard time understanding what it is intended to say. Also the last chapters very clearly have weird cuts in them, panels that don’t connect together and that randomly switch through part of the story. That was the most annoying thing ever, especially as the ending was dragging on for so long. I love when we get to see the main characters’ ending. But seeing that for so many chapters and hear about their kids and her exhibition etc felt too much. Yura’s story was way more interesting at this point but we didn’t even have all of it because it kept cutting off.
Also the time skips with no explanations were so severe at the ending. She falls pregnant way too quickly to my taste, in terms of story it was rushing at this point, it felt like they barely were done dealing with the main story that it was happening, and then it’s twins (are we in a fake aita story or what lol) and then during the next chapters the twins have grown enough…? We also don’t have their birth (probably because the chapters aren’t complete). And with the parallel with Yura it feels even more messy and I didn’t get at all how much time was passing.
Another bad point of this (for me) is how the main villains keep sabotaging themselves, and how the main characters keep dragging it on for chapters and chapters. Also how they keep being injured but everything is okay (I stopped counting the amount of times they end up in hospital but I hope they took a subscription). Like main characters get proof of evil doing by villains, but for some reasons they have to wait X amount of chapters before revealing it or it wouldn’t be dramatic enough. Also villains being super smart and then doing the worst dumbest thing to be discovered (the brother paying a guy to murder her and it was all very traceable and easy to find) like ??? We’re talking about the guy that pushed ML in the water and then pretended to be the victim and have a damaged leg for years? Did he regress or what?
In general all the villains in the story feel so weak and like they’re in the end not a threat at all. There’s a lot of suspense and sense of danger that they try to carry but it falls flat cause you wait a lot of chapters before anything happens and they literally shoot themselves in the foot. Also may it be Yura or the brother, the fact they end up being ridiculed add to the idea that they feel weak as characters that are supposed to bring in difficulty (the brother learning his mother left for example.) I don’t know, I feel like their treatment could have been much better. It’s like they tried to add complexity. For the brother it doesn’t work cause it’s not enough foreshadowed. For Yura it’s done in a better way, I would say. You learn the kind of cycle she’s stuck in, with her mother’s history, and there’s quite a few shady things that happen to her as well, that can still make you sympathize with her (of course she was a b* more than once but she didn’t take advantage of her sister’s trauma with food for example). In my opinion she still feels human. Pathetic, foolish, and your feelings for her evolve through the story.
In the end, I won’t take too much of a stance on this work. I would say it is my opinion first and foremost that although this story has been enjoyable, it shouldn’t have been the length it is. I think somewhere around 80s chapters would have been better. The plot dragged around way too much in some moment and it made some interactions feel forced. The end in particular made me feel bored and skimming through it. Overall maybe a 3.5/5? I’m not sure to be fair.
(PS : I just thought about it as I finished writing this but did we ever hear about her grandfather ever again? Is he dead or did he just disappear off camera because I don’t remember having seen him in the last chapter. If I’m right then… rip I guess)