seutellar

My theories and ramblings~

Okay, despite how i laughed so hard when mokyeon spitting out nonsense in the car i also cried when he admit all his wrongdoings. I don't want to make excuses for all the bad things he has done towards nanjo, that's a fact. But if i'm being honest, his "bad" can't really be compared to other trashy ML out there. Like, i've seen far far worse. Mokyeon was like slightly below the line, not really that far. For starter, the relationship between Mokyeon and Nanjo in essence was a transaction. Nanjo can def back out any moment but he choose not to bcs of twinky. I refuse to believe someone as smart as Nanjo didn't find the oddities in Sunhwa esp after the first threesome. He knows something was up but he choose to turn a blind eye. He wants to believe that Sunhwa was not like Mokyeon said at all. And, despite we're not having any pov from Nanjo, i think he basically get Mokyeon feelings early on. It was when he decided to kiss Mokyeon first. He clearly knows how much Mokyeon wants him. I think it was a fierce struggle between what he wants to believe and what his heart telling him. In all rationality, Nanjo should not believe Mokyeon at all but somewhere in there, his heart tells him that Mokyeon feelings was genuine and he was not really that bad. Otherwise how can he act at ease when around Mokyeon. I think Mokyeon was the only one so far that didn't leave after witnessing the imperfect sides of Nanjo. Nanjo in front of Sunhwa was giving CEO out of the drama perfect boyfriend. Nanjo in front of Mokyeon was his real self. His anger and coldness, his laugh and smile, his clumsy sides, it was all seen by Mokyeon. And Mokyeon loved it. That's why i found it so natural when Nanjo accept Mokyeon kiss right before season 1 ends. Like, Nanjo felt something but he still didn't want to believe on Mokyeon. His crashout at s1 end was valid bcs Nanjo was losing control over his life. I think shame also played a part bcs i don't think Nanjo ever thought he will get caught cheating when he's dating other people. Mokyeon was a variable and a stain in his perfect principles, that's why he's so mad. He's mad bcs he's actually got caught crossing the lines that he swore he will never do. I think that's what Nanjo feels about Mokyeon. Something bad but i can't help myself to indulge a bit, but when people know, i felt chaotic and at loss bcs i'm not supposed to strayed from the perfect path.

Mokyeon, ugh, didn't expect that he was such a cry baby. I really really want to see him and Nanjo together bcs goddamn this kid got it tough since he was little. Like, his shitty personality didn't come from out of nowhere. He crave affection but was betrayed in the most cruel way possible and left numb bcs he know that love was the most fragile thing. The fact that he now love Nanjo so much kinda breaks my heart. This is first time he want to loved so badly and he didn't get it. I feel so freakin awful hahaha. Shitty childhood doesn't mean a free pass for being a jerk i know. But, i really really want Nanjo to give him a chance.

Istg if uke ends up with taeha i will riot. Anyone is better than him. PLS PLS PLS. LET IT BE POLY END at the very least.