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BEEBOSS1 March 21, 2026 4:19 pm

TMI and irrelevant to this forum but I want to vent so keep reading if you want

Recently me and this guy decided to meet up (for horny reasons) but keep in mind we're both noob virgins so once we met up it was extremely awkward.

For context we've known each other for years but over time I noticed tension between us two. I was obsessed with them but I felt it to be one-sided.

Suddenly they were moving away, and I noticed us becoming more distant. Couple months later he texts and he basically confesses to me, and saying he'd want to see me one more time. Our convo that night was a bit freaky but once we met up it was all talk.

I was in in his car, he suggests we go to the backseat. Now keep in mind I've read and seen my share of smut, yaoi, porn, all that stuff. But being in that situation myself I had no idea how to react, and I would also like to add how I've fantasized of freaky scenarios such as this but I also have an avoidant attachment style so in that moment I found it so embarrassing being touched, vulnerable, and up close with someone all of the sudden with no romantic relationship.

We started kissing and he picked me up to place me on his lap. I could feel his dick throbbing, which I liked but I felt indifferent when kissing him, which was shocking. I started to realize our time apart made me get over him and lose that spark. I kissed him and zoned out, and within like 3 minutes he came. After that it was even more awkward, although it was never outright stated, I could feel the mutual thought between us that we weren't that into each other any more. We never talked again after that

Now I can't read yaoi without remembering my experience with him, any kissing scene, hugging, humping, or just plain romance, it makes me recollect the fond memories I had with with him, but then automatically leads to that experience, which was cringy, embarrassing, and awkward.

Anyways thanks to whoever read this, it's a bit TMI but I feel better bringing up what's been bothering me. ┗( T﹏T )┛

    chaenggu March 21, 2026 4:26 pm

    Sounds like me 5 yrs ago. I never gets better unless you realize the real life sex is and will always be awkward, it takes two to row.

    Only difference is that I turned to fiction more after the same first time awkward experience much more bc fiction is better and I feed my delulu 10x

    Anyways just saying this to hopefully join u on saying you're not alone on this experience, I felt that too like the exact situation plus I'm avoidant so it was weird and hard to lock in

    I guess it's just a coming of age thing haha

    BEEBOSS1 March 21, 2026 4:43 pm
    Sounds like me 5 yrs ago. I never gets better unless you realize the real life sex is and will always be awkward, it takes two to row.Only difference is that I turned to fiction more after the same first time a... chaenggu

    Thank you you for responding it's nice knowing its not just me. I'm aware real life is different from fiction but it's such as bummer tbh ( ̄へ ̄)hopefully as I mature I'll come to enjoy rather than avoid it

    chaenggu March 21, 2026 6:27 pm
    Thank you you for responding it's nice knowing its not just me. I'm aware real life is different from fiction but it's such as bummer tbh ( ̄へ ̄)hopefully as I mature I'll come to enjoy rather than avo... BEEBOSS1

    Oh yeah def, just be open to try different people and be safe while doing so, cuz stds and stuff. It's specially fun to try and experience when you're in the space to be ready it's like looking forward to a new chapter or episode

    You'll also get to know yourself a lot and bonus point is as you mature you will also get to determine if the smut is written by an author who has experience or someone who just really knows the good stuff

BEEBOSS1 March 20, 2026 3:02 am

Is there any recs where it involves both fluff and smut but at both extreme leves like sweetness overload fluff and then a sudden contrast of crazy hardcore smut ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ノ~

    ash March 20, 2026 3:11 am

    full volume ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭

BEEBOSS1 March 15, 2026 9:17 pm

anyone gots recs for yaoi where the sex involves dirty talk lmkk(๑•ㅂ•)و✧

    Mr Rover March 15, 2026 10:10 pm

    "Dog's Mask" ML does have a filthy mouth.
    "Define the Relationship" ML is kind of a filthy talker.

BEEBOSS1 February 24, 2026 3:50 am

it's about these twins that are separated from birth, ones disabled in a wheelchair with a rich family, and the abled bodied one is with like a poor family, or vise versa? Idk I forgot

BEEBOSS1 January 26, 2026 9:40 pm

I CURATED A DELECTABLE WANT TO READ LIST AND NOW ITS GONEEE

I saw this happen last night and went to bed pretending my lists would come back and it was a nightmare but it's nice to see how everyone's going through it and not just me

    eema January 26, 2026 9:55 pm

    Bro my want to read list was so juicy ヽ(`Д´)ノ

    BunnyBoo January 26, 2026 9:56 pm

    The anxiety is eating me alive. (⊙…⊙ )

    BunnyBoo January 26, 2026 10:03 pm
    Bro my want to read list was so juicy ヽ(`Д´)ノ eema

    ╥﹏╥ Same here. My list was still so young. I had just made it recently ヽ(`Д´)ノ

    BEEBOSS1 January 26, 2026 10:15 pm
    ╥﹏╥ Same here. My list was still so young. I had just made it recently ヽ(`Д´)ノ BunnyBoo

    Same I was planning to binge read when I had a week break like bro

    eema January 26, 2026 10:32 pm
    ╥﹏╥ Same here. My list was still so young. I had just made it recently ヽ(`Д´)ノ BunnyBoo

    Dude minds was old and long af. When I catch a break from school I like to read as many as I can from that list.(〜 ̄△ ̄)〜

BEEBOSS1 October 23, 2025 4:36 am

I'm not a spy or wtver but I'm tryna read Love for Sale on a site with little to minimal ads cuz for some reasons this site doesn't have all chaps of it

BEEBOSS1 June 15, 2025 2:05 pm

help with find the name of the yaoi where this guy moves to his cousin's family house in the country side and in his childhood he had a crush on the cousin thinking they were female but we he moves there he realizes they were a male along and he's also a teacher

BEEBOSS1 June 15, 2025 7:42 am

Anyone know the name of the manga where it's like a guy moves to the country side to live with his cousins family who he hasn't seen since childhood, and the cousin is his crush who as a kid thought was a girl, but then visiting he learns they were a man and they're a teacher

BEEBOSS1 August 15, 2024 2:24 am

Pls recommend me any dilf x young hot guy combo perferably the dilf being a tad edgy or sad but either way is fineლ(´ڡ`ლ)

BEEBOSS1 July 25, 2024 3:47 am

by ugly I mean like not conventially attractive or perceived as weird by everyone but the top. This is my favorite trope and I've already read Kijima-kun and Never Understand. Any more like these would be so amazing plspls thank you ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

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