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some of these comments are actually insane people calling maxi “pathetic” for being traumatized and abused her whole life while getting mad at riftan for literally having an emotional reaction to seeing the person he loves getting beaten is crazy to me
like sorry they didn’t respond with perfectly calm therapist-approved dialogue after years of abuse, neglect, war trauma, inferiority complex, and emotional repression maxi’s self-loathing is literally the result of lifelong abuse. that’s how abused people often think. and riftan reacting with anger and panic after witnessing that is one of the most human things ever
the comment section barely passed the humane test honestly. some of yall need to look in the mirror and seriously reevaluate your misogyny and emotional intelligence before calling traumatized female characters “annoying” or “pathetic” for not acting like emotionally healthy modern people with therapy and support systems
Girl, thank you, becoz wtf is even happening? People aren’t reading to enjoy the story anymore, they’re just looking for reasons to hate on characters. At this point, I honestly think it’s children reading this story, not just any kind, but the really immature ones, lol
This. It’s easy to forget that when someone has experienced consistent trauma from a loved one since a young age, one of the many ways this manifests in adulthood is through shame. Shame at not having been able to prevent it, shame about the things you were criticized for, shame for not being able to improve from those things, shame that any of it ever happened, shame of allowing someone else to see you at your worst even though it was not your fault. There is so much cognitive dissonance there. You can know that the correct thing to do is to communicate openly and honestly, but since when has anyone in the history of mankind ever just shrugged their shoulders and said “Let me just spill the tea on the most horrific and shameful moments in my life that are next to impossible for me to even begin processing alone and have shaped everything I am today, the good and the bad.”
All of this is to say, I love your comment (and many others that advocate for this mess of a chapter as emotional honesty and just two people doing their best. It won’t be perfect. But they love each other and they are trying so hard. Sometimes that’s not enough. It’s life. However, this fine-tuned world of wildly high expectations when it comes to managing trauma blows my mind. I’m TRAINED to handle trauma and I still find myself facing circumstances where I am not 100% sure what to say and have to let the patient guide me, and I’m just a third party. It’s even harder when the person is someone close to you.
Anyway, you’re amazing. I hope you have a lovely day. Cheers!
THANK YOU!! exactly ! these are two broken, imperfect people that grew up in terrible and traumatising conditions. Sorry they don’t know how to communicate their love for eachother properly but neither would anyone in their situations!
i just cant remember the title or the author but it's an old yaoi manga, like, more than 5 years ago? i forgot the release date but i read it a long time ago.
plot:
the kouhai (seme) gets invited to gamble/play/get together in a senpai's house. they're like, college? idk high school? they're a group of friends and seme was new to the group. the house/apartment they go to belongs to the uke who is also a part of the friend group. they're just having fun together with the group. then seme falls in love with senpai uke. it's unrequited. uke is actually in a fuckbuddy relationship with one of their friends (guy A) in the group, and uke is in love with that guy A. seme discovers this.
there's this umbrella that guy A gave to uke in the past, and uke tried to give it to seme when it rained and he didn't have any umbrella to use. uke said that seme doesn't need to give it back, but seme gives it back the next day. (seme doesn't know it's from guy A) uke actually was trying to give away the umbrella as a sign for him to give up on guy A because he knows his feelings for A is unrequited, but seme gave it back without knowing anything.
seme tries to proposition uke and makes efforts for them to get closer. seme tries to make uke fall inlove with him instead, but gets Rejected. uke explains the umbrella situation. i think seme broke the umbrella (not sure) to show uke that he's only hurting himself by holding on the anything about A. uke gets angry, and told seme to leave.
they graduate and separated and did not see each other again until they became working adults. uke is an employee of a partner company that will be working with seme.
seme tries to show nonchalance, but is still inlove with uke. seme sees uke receive a message from A even after all this time, asking for uke and A to meet.
seme meets A first and confronts A that he knows uke's feelings for him but doesn't stop their f-buddy relationship together. seme tells A to stop. A says okay. uke shows up and gets between them. uke explains to seme that A is actually already married to someone else at that point. uke wraps up his relationship with A and A accepts the situation.
uke and seme leave. they talk. it rains. seme holds uke under his own umbrella under the rain. they get together.
that's it. i think.
i need help finding this manga pleaseeeee.
still can't get over people calling maxi “pathetic” for being traumatized and abused her whole life while getting mad at riftan for literally having an emotional reaction to seeing the person he loves getting beaten is crazy to me
like sorry they didn’t respond with perfectly calm therapist-approved dialogue after years of abuse, neglect, war trauma, inferiority complex, and emotional repression
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK. I’m so tired of people hating on a characters for having trauma responses. Maxi has been constantly hiding and repressing her past traumas, so she’s never properly processed or dealt with them. She wouldn’t even know HOW to begin that journey of healing.
People don’t seem to realize that your mind set doesn’t magically change the second you’re no longer in an abusive environment. Your habits and survival techniques won’t change over night. It’s takes a hell of a long time for anyone to adapt and be able to change their mindset. And she wasn’t exactly welcomed with open arms at Anetol. Sure, everyone loves her now but that’s after she’s put in a lot of work to prove herself. She’s surviving in the only ways she knows how. And all things considered she’s come a hell of a long way on her own.
FACTS!! Healing doesn't happen overnight. I STILL have abandonment issues that get triggered and I've had my friends for almost two decades now and know they would never leave me because I know that's not how they are. Trauma sucks and everyone is different - some people are affected by it for the rest of their lives, some manage to recover in a matter of time. I like that this story doesn't hold back and doesn't hold up unrealistic expectations when it comes to trauma and flaws and relationships.