Ash's Things

I’m 17 and preparing for a college entrance exam, but I’m struggling a lot mentally. I’ve dealt with depression before, and I’ve always been very emotionally closed off—keeping everything inside and pretending I’m okay.

I’m also lesbian, and accepting myself has been difficult because of how I was raised and what I was taught to believe about homosexuality. I feel very alone and disconnected from the people around me.

Lately, I’ve been having a lot of suicidal thoughts, and I’m finding it really hard to cope with them. I don’t want to hurt myself. I want to stay safe and get through these thoughts, but I don’t know how. At the same time, I’m trying to keep studying and move forward with my life, which feels incredibly difficult.

How do you keep yourself safe when suicidal thoughts become overwhelming? How do you learn to accept yourself, recover from depression, and keep going without losing yourself in the process?

I’m not looking for judgment or pity. I’d genuinely appreciate some honest, kind advice from anyone who has been through something similar.

I recently realized that I’m lesbian, and I’m having a difficult time processing everything.

I love my family and my sister very much. I came out to my sister because I trusted her, and although she said she would accept me, she also felt that it might be a phase and that women being together isn’t really possible. I understand that she may be coming from her own beliefs, but it still left me feeling quite alone.

I’ve spent a long time feeling disconnected from the people around me. I also struggle with the expectation that I’ll eventually marry a man. When I imagine that future, I feel deeply uncomfortable. When I imagine being with a woman I genuinely love, I feel peaceful and able to be myself.

So I’d really like to hear from women who have experienced this:

What is it actually like to be in a loving lesbian relationship? What are the things you love most about it, and what challenges have you faced? How do two women support and protect each other, and are there particular safety concerns you’ve had to think about?

I’d also appreciate hearing from anyone who has felt isolated or unable to be open about their identity. How did you cope with that feeling, and how did you eventually find people you felt you belonged with?

I’m still figuring myself out, and I’m honestly quite scared. I’m not looking for arguments about identity or religion—I’d just really appreciate respectful, genuine experiences and perspectives.

I want to believe that it’s possible to build a peaceful, loving, independent life while still being true to yourself. (︶︿︶)＝凸

I recently realized I’m a lesbian, and honestly, it feels really good to finally understand this part of myself.

I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m not really into dating right now—I’m way too career-focused and ambitious for that But obviously, I’d love to have someone someday.

The problem is… I’m literally a queer person living in a homophobic country, born into a conservative household, and surrounded by people who are homophobic. Even the people who call themselves “open-minded” suddenly uninstall their open-mindedness when LGBTQ+ comes up.

I don’t even have anyone close to me who I can properly talk to about this, and honestly, it gets really fucking isolating.

So if you’re queer, open-minded, ambitious, or just have some experience/advice to share, please talk to me. I’d genuinely love to meet some people who get it. (￣∇￣")