Welp, this is a textbook example of why ur teachers focus so much on the "show not tell". Pacing issues aside, so much information was given but couldn't be processed.
Not everything needs a third person narrator but I think this one would benefit greatly from it. Chars are just thrown left and right with no introduction, so we don't know who is who, and who is doing what.











I must be some kind of special masochist to read this as it updates
No you're not *sore eyes*