dapo's Topics (43)

https://x.com/404dapo/status/2089023270481785297?s=46

The face Yuwon was making that I think Dohun says he couldn’t understand was probably him crying. Remember, Yuwon mentions he could breath around Seungmin even saying he needed him and yet Dohun sat there trying to convince him his actions were fake. I also noticed he began to cling unto Dohun only after Seungmin left I think Yuwon was actually very dependent on Seungmin.

Edit: idk how I forgot to mention but if we go back to the scene Dohun is refereeing to the confession scene (ch 73) Yuwon was crying

“Give back what you recieve, everything you receive return it the exact same way”

It honestly sounds like something a parent would say to their children that’s been bickering over their toys. Dohun’s main takeaway of that phrase is that it’s a lesson on getting even in other words ‘tit for tat’. I honestly wasnt that familiar with that expression before i thought it was the same as eye for an eye, they’re not. They both express an act for getting even using the same method a perpetrator used first but eye for an eye is more of a one and done deal, tit for tat suggests a continuous back and forth.

Chapter 68 ends off with Dohun fixating on the reason why Yuwon doesn’t want to be with him he comes to the conclusion he’ll keep him by his side even if he has to write his name to do it. Eerie how far back he’s had thoughts of marking Yuwon. The sequence continues into the next chapter opening up with a scene of him still bleeding from his nose something his brother says echos in his head, “do you think writing your name on something makes it yours?” The reason why he began to write his name on his belongings was so they couldn’t be taken away from him. I have to remind myself that name isn’t actually his but given to him by his father why not use your real name to label things as your own? I guess his brother was right about one thing nothing in the world (at least back then) belongs to him not even his name. It doesn’t answer the question who was he so worried will take Yuwon away that far back?

The phrase is later reiterated when he strikes a deal with his brother for his phone, with nothing to offer up in exchange he gets beat to a pulp. Hanseob blurts something prior to Dohun ‘sacrificing’ himself that I still find strange, “so father told you to give it back to me” what if there was something Dohun took away from him first aside from his phone. Now, what could that be? Their dad previously mentions he doesn’t need an idiot that only knows how to take a beating but seeing the bruises he basically says he used the phrase wrong. Will you play tit for tat the same way for the bullies? He brought up that hanseob still acts like a child around him. Again, like kids fighting over their toys One thing I’ve taken note of, Dohun never labeled that phone did he? What Yuwon says about his texts not being like him might not have even been from him.

Begging of you, please don’t take my man~

In chapters 76 Dohun says in his time away it was common to see people that banged their heads on the wall and spoke amongst themselves as if someone was there. He insists he never had to do drugs to hallucinate Yuwon there is one instance however where his face is warped. We then see a bruise on Dohun’s forehead this scene stuck out to me did he begin to bang his head in attempt to see Yuwon clearly? What does this mean to Yuwon who’d do the same even whilst Dohun lay next to him? What could he be trying to remember or who

Edit bc I began to overthink and can’t stop myself: I think the reason Yuwon bangs his might have to do with his belief of their being good ppl out there bc his parents. He doesn’t even bring it up in his memories yet he still projected himself unto a random girl passing by with her parents (Ch 55 vs 73) I felt that was a way of showing that the belief is buried deep down somewhere but his mind won’t allow him to fully remember. He mentions before that Seungmin satisfied his needs. It seems to me the little time they spent together served as a reminder to him that there is still good in the world. He’s rather naive isn’t he? To trust someone so deeply that you refuse to see the bad in them will only lead to disappointment. What if Seungmin is a reflection of someone from the past? We don’t know how many times this outlook has left Yuwon vulnerable to being taken advantage of.

The last the blonde was seen before the modern times it looks like he took the form of a fox. The two MC's continue living and carry on the teachings of their religion to their God. Maybe he's some kind of diety for gay seggs and feeds off of other's devotion and belief or maybe he's supposed to be something like the serpent that tempts eve?

Them getting rings with their own birthdays instead of each others… literally who would’ve thought it would soon foreshadow one’s death before the others birthday. I wonder if she ever looked at the date on her ring and thought I wish I were never born. In its own way it’s like a little memento from her gf to keep living for yourself :(

Edit: I’m a little slow but after writing my original comment the title made a lot more sense. I think spring may have reminded her of not only their precious moments together but the reason she died. The ghost may have merely just been just that an illusion brought upon by the arrival of spring and the memories they’ve built together. It’s bittersweet but I sometimes wonder what if her first entry in Sakura’s diary was meant in a metaphorical sense? The cherry tree flowers bloom every year nevertheless

it’s been a while since I last read but I loved the mention of urban legends from other island nations I remember being elated seeing Yap in this manga

When Dohun first met Yuwon he makes a wish that he would take his unhappiness. To begin with that was always an odd choice in wording but I think it was very intentional. At first glance this is just cute wishful thinking when you read between the lines he made the wish for his own selfish reasons. I always thought that Yuwon blaming him was always form of self hate being deflected off of him and unto Dohun. He actually is fulfilling his wish by taking blame he’s becoming both the source and the relief/cure. He’s making himself an inseparable being from Yuwon’s suffering.

Naturally you would think taking away someone else’s unhappiness equals a person’s happiness? Every effort made has the opposite effect they even break up idky that’s so funny to me. It only pushes Yuwon further away and into Seungmin’s arms. He even says, “it’s true I need Seungmin by my side bc apart from loving you I have other needs that need to be met” despite being given a better living situation, food, financial stability the deer would do similar for the tree. These are all his Dohun’s ideas of happiness btw he has no idea how to make Yuwon happy.

What would those needs he mentioned be? Seungmin once asks Yuwon do you love Dohun? He lists all these reasons why he doesn’t believe he does. He can tell he’s uncomfy around him and questions how he can breathe around him but not his bf. Isn’t that sad a coworker provides more relief for him than Dohun does. Dohun thinks the solution for this is to take him away from the workplace all together but Yuwon says he doesn’t want that. Staying at home would make him feel useless he’s not some houseplant. What an interesting comparison. Leading up to their breakup Yuwon would ask for sex from Dohun and when he didn’t give it to him he’d feel uneasy. He needed reassurance and one of the last things he asked for from him was honesty. Dohun couldn’t provide that.

I revert back to the opening statement often and in a lot of ways it’s referred to differently depending on the character. Aya appearing from the past, Kota refusing to shed light on the past that Aya wasn’t apart of. For Erika, it feels like she tries to chase after both of their “starlight” wanting to replicate Aya’s to become a source of light for Kota and wanting Kota shine once again. The scene when Kota asks if they should date she stands under a street light it’s artificial. Now that I think about it both Aya and Erika have been shown under stage lights, hmm. Realizing she can’t catch up to Aya she writes on a tanzaku wishing for her to return, she could’ve wished for Kota to return her feelings but didn’t. I interpreted her doing so in a way she wishes for Kota to get her light back but she knows it’s stuck in the past with Aya.

Part one:
https://www.mangago.me/home/mangatopic/22593942/

The hallway scene in chapter 74 is remembered differently in Yuwon’s pov Dohun was instead standing besides him not behind him and gets hit. This is a very clear look at how vividly Yuwon can write Dohun into his story, while Dohun’s POV would prove he didnt follow the script. When Yuwon helps him up his hands are conveniently covering “Dohun’s” name tag. They are later brought in for questioning for the death of the first bully and the night they were locked in the storage room was mentioned as apart of the investigation. As previously mentioned in part one memory and reality seem to bleed across both of their povs making it harder to grasp what’s actually happening in the moment.

In Yuwon’s pov apart from the obvious identity confusion or rather the assigned role disarray he projects, every core event did happen and technically everything spoken has been said but again memory and reality clash when events are told from his pov you can’t trust who says what or the actual timeline these were actually said. At the center of this distortion is his suppressed memories of him being the victim and the surrounding suspicion of Dohun’s involvement or lack thereof.

While Dohun does provide a more reliable narration for whatever reason he’s missing a massive portion of their shared past. There are gaps in his pov that are crucial moments in Yuwon’s and little details that are quietly forged to keep him in frame: neither recalls who actually spilled the soda on the bullies but a bruise magically appears on his face that Yuwon pointed out was already there before the bully threw the can, Dohun has no memory of them sitting together after the seating rearrangement, the scenes we don’t see Yuwon’s face from his memories strike me as odd too, he wasn’t brought in for questioning either despite supposedly being in the storage room with Yuwon. He wasn't even a suspect… Furthermore, the very pivotal scene where Yuwon tells him he wants the bullies dead wasn’t shown either but brought up three seperate times in Yuwon’s memories. This disconnect made me question whether a lot of their memories were actually shared with each other. All these absent details in Dohun’s recollection leave us with one missing variable: who was Yuwon really with?

The thin line between memory, reality, truth and lie can be drawn by the yellow tags. But it raises the question: what clues are we left with when those tags are completely absent? For instance, when they are in their gym uniforms, when they were shown in the basement studio, at their part time jobs or when Dohun was with his family? I theorize when the tags display their names it shows some truth but when they appear blank it signals both of their attempts at erasing certain key moments and an even more desperate attempt at erasing a certain person to fit a narrative they’ve created: that Yuwon still moves without thinking for Dohun. I also concluded that the blank tags shows when a character step into another’s role. Here are the roles I know are for certain: The Victim, The Hero and The Bystander. I wonder if the 4 tulips have anything to do with this of course none of those roles would exist without a fourth role, The Villian. They are also the shade of yellow the name tags were idk I believe Dohun followed what Yuwon says to him about minding his own business from the very beginning starting from the day he first transfers and a hidden character acts as his stand in for the role of hero while he played the role of bystander.

Everybody has trauma responses they are automated survival reactions most are familiar with the two trauma responses: fight or flight. Yuwon shows a lot of signs of fawning especially in chapters 72. Edit: Many people that fawn may experience identity confusion and develop codependency patterns I find his character reflects both. Coincidentally, Dohun identifies with the deer in his story book that’s saved by the tree (Yuwon). I keep referencing the last scene between Yuwon and Seungmin but didn’t the yellow lights behind Seungmin resemble the spiked chestnuts the tree drops to save the deer? If the present is shown to parallel the past then who is the tree in Yuwon’s pov and how does he know about that story?