Talk To Yourself

If someone misgendering you causes you to have a mental breakdown you need to go to therapy. Someone misgendering you doesn't mean that they need to start referring to everyone they meet as "they/ them"

Some people don't want to be called "they/them" and are comfortable enough in their own identity to be able to accept being called anything. If they are misgendered they will correct the person and that's all.

Dealing with your own trauma is hard but you still need to take care of that yourself. The people of this world are not here to make sure you never get hurt in your life, they are here to live. They want to live freely. They don't want to live attempting to account for the feelings of those that struggle to deal with their own emotions. Words offend people no matter how much you try and make it so that they do not. There is no "one-size-fits-all" solution to any problem. Someone will always be offended and to truly be "inclusive" is to understand that fact. I personally wouldn't like it if someone started calling me "they/them" and someone else would be delighted to be called "they/them". That solution has become a problem to me but it still makes someone else feel better. This is what I mean by there is someone who will always get offended by what you decide to do. Your solution may not have had the intentions of harming someone but regardless it still did and that is just how the world works.

It is inherently not inclusive to disregard the feelings of others in order to make yourself feel better. Let people say what they want. We as humans just need to do our best to not get so pressed over these things. There are way too many people in the world for everyone to be accounting for your feelings. What may make you feel better may make someone else feel like shit.

People need to realize that the root of their issues with others comes from within so the solutions to those problems also will naturally come from within. You can't expect random people that don't care about you to fix those problems for you. It is why when people experience trauma they go to therapy. If some guy molested you and you've developed a fear of men, you can't just kill all men. You have to deal with that trauma through therapy and other means. Solutions don't come from other people, they come from YOU.

By the way, I only used the misgendering scenario as an example because someone brought it up but really this applies to anything dealing with emotions.