I was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) since college, and I have abandonment issues. I don't believe in marriage but sometimes I believe my dream is to have a nice family, I love my fiancee but being attached to one man scares me. What if I'm a terrible wife, what if I don't love him. Things can go from hate to love to hate for me with him. Sex is more of a chore for me than joy but I was assaulted when I was young so that may be a factor. My wedding is around 6 months from now and to this day I still don't know if I love him or is he just the easy way, so I don't have to be alone.
I'm 20 and I planned to stay being a virgin, unmarried for as long as I live. I have trust issues and I doubt I'll ever find a man that I can trust. 1 reply
I'm not sure if this counts as rape or not, but I was around 6-7 when it happened. My mom, Aunt and I would always visit a close family friend. There was a husband who had a child and I remember him telling me to get in the room so I can massage his back (Or whatever). So, when I got in the room, I regretted it a lot. He whispered in my ear to not ...... 1 reply
I think it's better to save for marriage, just in case of a baby comes up, and I had a bad trauma about sex but it's reallt up to u and ur beliefs or comfort really. I waited until I was 22 and with my fiancee because it was more comfortable for me and I'm not really the type that wants to... taste all the fish in the sea (tbh I think sex can be qu...... 1 reply
You are not alone and there are people who understand what you are feeling. I have been called mentally unstable and crazy from my own mother but I know she was trying to cope with the fact it was some one very close to her and when I trusted her enough with my pain I didn't get the outcome I wanted. ( him being reveled and gone to jail.) I began ...... 1 reply
When I was in 3rd grade I had to have a surgery and needed a blood transfusion and my parents tried to donate blood to me. They found out that neither of them had the blood type I had. My mom had A positive and my dad had B positive and then they told both my parents there was no way that he could be my father since my blood type was o positive. I ...... 3 reply
16 and 18. They both count, to me, so there ya have it. First was an almost as we were trying to do it, but I did not know I needed to help guide him. Aww virgins, lol. So did not make it to penetration, but only for lack of finesse. The following year I fell deeply in love with his older brother. We were next door neighbors. He became my first t...... reply
