Real Life Problems

I don't know if there any adult or just young adult on this page.. but can you share your hard time here and what keep you back from killing yourself? I've just turned 20 and all the responsibilities just.. coming at me and.. I don't know.. feel lost and exhausted all the time..

first of all, im sorry for my english cause its not my first language.

so i have a group of friends, 6 out of 9 are lesbian and bi (the other 3 are straight, including me), and they keep saying things like "ew hets" (hetero) or "i hate hets". and i actually feel so down and sad because it feels like they hate me. i dont hate them, and when i ask them why they hate hets they said its because hets are bullying them. and i totally understand, but that still makes me so sad. they are very precious friends to me and i dont want them to hate me. i know they didnt mean they hate every het people, but im still sad...

oh and is it okay to call straight people "hets"? i mean.. do we have a name? (het and straight are the same thing right..?) and is it okay to call them "lgbtq people"? im sorry im still learning about this and im sorry if i offend some of you or using the wrong word. thank you ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄