Mental Breakdown

I can never remember how my biological father looked. I had never met him and would never want to meet him after the forced marriages, the beating of my sisters and my bio mom.
He was a rapist and a pedophile.
But I never knew his face. My older sister remembers but I don't, I was too young ig.
But I don't look too similar to my older sisters. I got asked if I was adopted, which I was but me and my sisters were fully related and adopted by our mum who is biologically our material grandmother.

I don't look like my sisters and I don't have a close resemblance to my biological mother the way my sisters do. I worry I hold his face. The face of a rapist. I wonder maybe it was because of that face I could never be loved and cared for by my bio mother.
Do I hold the face of a rapist, is that why I was left on my mothers doorstep, the reason she couldn't bond with me. The reason she had neglected me even when he had gone.

But even then. Did she have the right to beat my sisters when they were only but babies themselves. To be a child conceived out of pain and rape is something I can only now realise and try and come to terms with.
My half siblings were born out of love and want. And I was just promised goods to be sold in iran.