Crippling Anxiety

I have a major problem about talking/dealing with people, i can't even talk with my family sometimes because i think i'm being a constant nuisance and it kinda makes me feel like the worse human being alive, people always say i distance myself from others and how I don't try to make friendships/relationships last, it's like something blocks me from telling them (and even messaging them) how i feel and it piles up until I end up having a panic attack and it sucks so much.
I don't text anyone first, nor I call anyone first because i fear i would annoy my friends/family, i literally have a mental crisis everytime I'm sending someone a simple "hi" message.

Do any of y'all have a problem like this ? How do you cope?

They're precious to me and my other friends but we can only help them with sending memes, laugh together, and playing games. It's effective for their mental though, but the think of wanting to gave up and being emotionless doesn't disappear from their head.
Get well soon, dude:(