i still remember so clearly. december 20th a cold thursday night. i braced myself for the last episode of banana fish. and when i saw it was +40 minutes long? i knew i was going to get fucked up. and i did. i cried so fucking much i didn’t even care that i had tears and snot dripping down on my face. honestly every episode of BF was like a punch ...... 2 reply
biggest insecurity???
[Answer]
22 07,2020
HUGE BF SPOILER! I get that feeling all the time, my stomach drops, and my whole body feels like its a mist like I could fly out fo my own body, but there's always a pain not a sharp one but a dull pain, unfulfilled in a type way. Omg, I was so sad about BF I've been listening to the ending song when ash gets stabbed banana fish liberty, but I've a...... 1 reply
biggest insecurity???
[Answer]
22 07,2020
The same dullness and numb my brain cells got!! When I finished Reading ( Blood Bank) by silb the heavy plot and the angst uwahhh!!!!! And the last open ending made me numb for next 3 days!!! I was crying river's I know that Eric didn't die but!!! The way shell and eric wants to live in that world wasn't possible and that ending made me feel wors...... 2 reply
biggest insecurity???
[Answer]
22 07,2020
SPOILER ALERT FOR BANANA FISH (I tried to not give spoilers as best I could and only talk about my feelings but you might still be spoiled if you haven’t watched/read it)
I just spent 3 days watching Banana Fish and reading what little I could of the manga including Garden of Light and Angel Eyes. And I did not take it well, I lost my appetite in those 3 days. After I finished BF, I just felt numb with this dull ache in my chest and a feeling of deep emptiness. So I slept to alleviate some of the pain but when I woke up, I cried so hard, harder than I’ve ever had in years. And the catharsis felt sooooo healing. I have a long way to go before I can look at that particular photo in Garden of Light without hurting but that’s okay. Crying until my eyes were completely swollen is my first step to healing.
(This next part is more spoiler-y but I still tried my best)
I feel broken bc of everything that transpired in Banana Fish. I can understand why Ash did what he did in the end and it may have been the best choice for both Eiji and himself but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. Garden of Light gave me the closure that I needed but in a way, it was even more painful than the end of Banana Fish. I’m just so broken right now bc of everything Ash went thru. The world failed Ash so hard over and over again and he was so strong but so broken inside. If I had met him myself, I would have done anything to take away all of his pain and all of his demons. It still kills me that I can’t do anything for him. And I can’t let go of everything just yet but I’m on my way to healing.
I just spent 3 days watching Banana Fish and reading what little I could of the manga including Garden of Light and Angel Eyes. And I did not take it well, I lost my appetite in those 3 days. After I finished BF, I just felt numb with this dull ache in my chest and a feeling of deep emptiness. So I slept to alleviate some of the pain but when I woke up, I cried so hard, harder than I’ve ever had in years. And the catharsis felt sooooo healing. I have a long way to go before I can look at that particular photo in Garden of Light without hurting but that’s okay. Crying until my eyes were completely swollen is my first step to healing.
(This next part is more spoiler-y but I still tried my best)
I feel broken bc of everything that transpired in Banana Fish. I can understand why Ash did what he did in the end and it may have been the best choice for both Eiji and himself but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. Garden of Light gave me the closure that I needed but in a way, it was even more painful than the end of Banana Fish. I’m just so broken right now bc of everything Ash went thru. The world failed Ash so hard over and over again and he was so strong but so broken inside. If I had met him myself, I would have done anything to take away all of his pain and all of his demons. It still kills me that I can’t do anything for him. And I can’t let go of everything just yet but I’m on my way to healing.
biggest insecurity???
[Answer]
22 07,2020
biggest insecurity???
[Answer]
22 07,2020
biggest insecurity???
[Answer]
22 07,2020
For me, it's my skinny body, and I feel horrible for saying it because then I feel ungrateful because there are people out there literally starving themselves, also my nose I have a hump but still, i hate myself for having insecurities because people have it way worse than me, and then I feel like I'm bitching , but i also hope that you learn to lo...... 5 reply
