Virginity

idk, i don't feel anything when I watch porn or manga with smuts, and just thinking of someone pounding me with theirs, i feel heavily disgusted(?) I don't like anything being put in me, but I would love to top but I don't want to the one to be put in. I mean, is there anything wrong with me?

I am a girl .My boyfriend and i just started dating last year.It has been almost a year being together. This is first relationship for me so i am new when it comes to this topic.From the time we started dating ,we hv been touchy touchy when we get too close and us alone. But haven't done the real thing. U know what i mean ,right?(●￣(ｴ)￣●) These days he seems like he needs more than what we have been doing which is just kissing and touching. He looks like he is controlling his emotion and urge not to scared me. And, I have done researching beforehand just to make sure things don't go bad when the time comes(≧∀≦). So, i want to know what the first time is like? I have heard people talking about their first didn't go as planned. That makes me alittle nervous. Pls, tell me do and don't. Thank u(≧∀≦)