[+18] Rape fetish in fiction .. ?

Right or wrong

.......
Also my own opinion on matter + story about me .
I think some fetish are deeply rooted of self hate & sexual trauma ..

First I am virgin , I have never molested or raped anyone , I am straight but I hate heterosexual porn and heterosex in general and thing female bodies are disgusting .. I am female myself and hate my own body, I been sexually harassed and when I told my mom she slapped me and said cuz I dress like wh*re , I was 15yr at that time and had not even had my period yet , I was late bloomer so my breasts and body was still that of child eventhought other girls in my class had started to wear bras and wear hijab .. I didn't cuz I was in swimming team and wearing hijab meant I had to quit swimming ..

Anyway back to the main story .. about rape fetish , I don't want to rape men but I enjoy reading mangas that have small seme huge seme being pent down and forced by smallet looking guy .. I tried to think it was just preference but I think it connected to my trauma of sexually harassed .. I don't even like men in real life and think they disgusting but when I think of huge man who is powerful getting reduced to tears and being dominated by smaller uke looking seme .. this just turn me on .


I know people will say I am abnormal and should get help .. but this something I keep deep inside my heart .. I never told anyone about , the funny thing is when I see men on internet who want mistress and women to dominate them , I feel repulsive , I am not sadistic or have pleasure in dominating men , I just want to see cute seme dominate manly delinquent bully uke.

This my story