do we fetishize gay?

once i got attacked on twitter for saying i like yaoi. many said yaoi fetishizes gay relationships and many yaois have problematic themes. when i said i was actually a lesbian myself they said it was more wrong to be of lgbt community yourself and tolerate such fetishization of gay relationships which are made by straight women for other straight women. some said yaoi is not a good representation it is actually a gross and unrealistic portrayal of mlm relationships, and it actually affect how gay people are treated in real life.
what do you think?