I need help

I tried to kill myself many times by now. My parents only know about one time. My parents think my therapie helps but it is just getting worse, cause I have to relive every moment I had panic attacks or depression attacks.. On top of that I have a very problematic brain damage wich makes it impossebel to be focused on something. I am basicly a useless dissapointment to my Family. (sorry for the bad English)
Can anybody tell me what I should do?
Thanks in advance