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I am lesbian and I have no idea how to come out to my homophobic father
!!!The question is at the bottom if you dont wanna read through the whole thing!!!
So about two years ago, I started to feel strange feelings towards my best friend. Best friend switched schools, and the feelings started to die down a little. After maybe a year, I started noticing those feelings. I cryed myself to sleep each and every night, feeling like there is something very wrong with me. I started to feel atracted to my female classmates, but I just brushed it off as admiration. But I quickly found out that that was garbage, because I often found myself daydreaming about having a girlfriend that would love me and stuff. At that point I couldnt hold it in myself anymore. I decided to come out to a friend of mine that I truly trust. She was extreamly supportive and later turned out to me pan! The next day, she gave me rainbow sour gummy worms, which is my favourite candy! I came out to my other friend that I thaught I could trust, but turns out she is an extreamly unsupportive female dog. She literally thinks that I am faking this for attention or something. About two months later of coming out to my dear friend I felt the need to come out to my mom but at the same time I didnt want to because I felt scared that my mom, a person that I see as a best friend, would suddenly turn against me. I ran up to her and told her that I wanna tell her something important. After that Nothing came out of my mouth. I decided that Id rather text her. After I texted her I imidiatly ran into the shower and had a massive anxiety attack. I started to hyperventilate to the point I thaught I was gonna pass out. Tears started to roll down my face. It was one of the most painful and scariest moments of my life. After an hour my mom came to my room an spoke with me. I cryed. I cryed a lot. My mom supported me even though I saw in her eyes that she wasnt a fan of it. Its not like she is homophobic or anything. She was and still is extreamly worried for me. Then I realized that I have to come out to my extreamly homophobic father.
Finally for my question. Any tips on coming out to a homophobic dad without him flipping out and disowning me? I know that he will find out. But I want to tell him myself rather than him accidentally finding out by himself. But the thing is, I dont know how.. Woow I wonder if life stories are allowed lol(￣∇￣"). Anyways if you read through the whole thing, then thank you. I hope I will recieve any answers to my question(๑•ㅂ•)و✧
Maybe don't...? If you think it'll end badly then just don't tell him. It doesn't hurt to ask your mother if you think that she might have some insight about it. You don't have to come out if it will make things worse 1 reply
if it helps - im a lesbian too so i understand how you feel. i know how strong the urge to come out can be but it is not worth it when it can put you in danger. if your father is really that homophobic, he can use your sexuality against you in the future to manipulate you (especially when you are still depending on your parents financially). reply
you know, sometimes the best choice is to not come out at all (especially if you're not coming out for self preservation, in some cases it can be very dangerous). I havent come out to my parents because i know exactly how it's gonna go (aka very bad lmao)
it depends on your personality in the end, some people really feel the need to come out to the...... 1 reply
Thanks for sharing your story. I think wait until the good time is my suggestion. I mean if you have homophobic parents, it's so hard for coming out now. So just wait. Wait until you can live yourself and prove to them that whatever your sexuality won't affect your success, your grades or your whole life.
I am lesbian too and I live with my extream...... reply
I am not in a position to give you any good advice but I will wish you the best. I know you wrote this because you wanted some advice but I just want you to know that I honestly wish you all the best and pray that everything turns out well. I'm sure that things will be okay and I'm glad that your friend and mother support you. I'm sorry to hear abo...... 1 reply
Look I'm going to agree with a lot of others here and say, try to avoid coming out to your father for a while. I know you'd prefer to tell him yourself than him hearing it from else where, that would be the ideal way to come out. But, if you think there is a chance you'd be in danger please don't come out.
Maybe talk to your mom first. ask her ho...... reply
Hey, I'm not an expert on relationships, but I'll try to help.
I think, I would maybe talk to your mom about it, have her talk to him a bit, and then have a whole family talk. maybe he'll come around and try to understand you.
If he doesn't, maybe prepare a backup plan, like staying at that friends' house for a while or having your mom figure out...... reply
I read the entire thing and before addressing your question, I would like to give you my two cents about the whole thing.
First of all, I'm glad you could find the courage to post your story in here (sharing one's story is always a very personal and emotional thing, and deserves the respect that comes with it). Secondly, as a fellow lesbian who fi...... 1 reply
Im also lesbian and my dads kind of homophobic but not to the point he will disown me. My tip would be dont telll him unless you are ready to face it, it may be hard but also save some money for that you will be sure that if something happens you have a option. But for me just be true to him even though it may hurt but deep inside he still loves yo...... reply
Sexuality doesn't matter at all in my family since my aunt basically did all the work for me as a fellow lesbian so I'm not really able to understand your situation and feelings but i am sure that it doesn't matter HOW you come to your father - the result will pretty much be the same either way :')
I mostly agree with the two other answers, my fam...... 1 reply
