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I am lesbian and I have no idea how to come out to my homophobic father
!!!The question is at the bottom if you dont wanna read through the whole thing!!!
So about two years ago, I started to feel strange feelings towards my best friend. Best friend switched schools, and the feelings started to die down a little. After maybe a year, I started noticing those feelings. I cryed myself to sleep each and every night, feeling like there is something very wrong with me. I started to feel atracted to my female classmates, but I just brushed it off as admiration. But I quickly found out that that was garbage, because I often found myself daydreaming about having a girlfriend that would love me and stuff. At that point I couldnt hold it in myself anymore. I decided to come out to a friend of mine that I truly trust. She was extreamly supportive and later turned out to me pan! The next day, she gave me rainbow sour gummy worms, which is my favourite candy! I came out to my other friend that I thaught I could trust, but turns out she is an extreamly unsupportive female dog. She literally thinks that I am faking this for attention or something. About two months later of coming out to my dear friend I felt the need to come out to my mom but at the same time I didnt want to because I felt scared that my mom, a person that I see as a best friend, would suddenly turn against me. I ran up to her and told her that I wanna tell her something important. After that Nothing came out of my mouth. I decided that Id rather text her. After I texted her I imidiatly ran into the shower and had a massive anxiety attack. I started to hyperventilate to the point I thaught I was gonna pass out. Tears started to roll down my face. It was one of the most painful and scariest moments of my life. After an hour my mom came to my room an spoke with me. I cryed. I cryed a lot. My mom supported me even though I saw in her eyes that she wasnt a fan of it. Its not like she is homophobic or anything. She was and still is extreamly worried for me. Then I realized that I have to come out to my extreamly homophobic father.
Finally for my question. Any tips on coming out to a homophobic dad without him flipping out and disowning me? I know that he will find out. But I want to tell him myself rather than him accidentally finding out by himself. But the thing is, I dont know how.. Woow I wonder if life stories are allowed lol( ̄∇ ̄"). Anyways if you read through the whole thing, then thank you. I hope I will recieve any answers to my question(๑•ㅂ•)و✧
My only advice would be to not rush into anything, not other-think it.
I didn't catch how old you are - But I'm sure you are quite young! Are you in a position to get a girlfriend *right now? Do you need to declare your sexuality in official terms to everyone *right now? To put an official name on how you feel and who you are - *right now?
I wo...... 2 reply
I’m gonna sound like a total ass, but I wouldn’t come out if you think that he’d disown you... I’m going to be shameless and assume you’re still living with your parents, so until you find your own place, I wouldn’t. Just so you know, I support you and I fully support whichever decision you decide on, but I wouldn’t want things to tur...... reply
I'm bi and still not out yet. I was planning to. I remember joking to ny dad what if I'm a guy and gay and he casually said he'll beat me up. That scares me, so I still not out yet. My plan is I will once I'm out of the house or I have my own job so he can't do anything but to accept it.
So what I meant maybe come out when they can't control you n...... 1 reply
I'd have your mum do it for you. It may seem a bit offensive, but you're less likely to directly face a huge outburst and he might be more willing to listen to his wife since they'd be on the same level socially. If it was you he could try to convince you to turn straight or something. Look in to not getting a girlfriend until you're 18 and not tel...... reply
Honestly, the safest thing to do is wait until your at a point you can support yourself in case he does disown you. It sucks, but it's better to come out when you're independent and can risk being disowned.
Along the way or close to when you can risk independence, without revealing yourself, you could try to slowly open his mind a bit. Gage his op...... reply
Personally i'm bisexual and i definitely will NOT come out to my father before i'm financially independent because as long as I'm still a student there so much I can lose not only my father but also my future if he decide that he doesn't want a daughter like this and that he won't support me anymore. But on the other side I understand the feeling o...... reply
It's my first time answering here haha
In my opinion, DON'T COME OUT YET. Wait and see. Your dad is really homophobic, he might do something to harm you like beat you up or what. Observe the situation, idk how but if u can indirectly ask him "what'd he do if he had a son/daughter who is gay" kind of question (btw dont make it obvious its about you,...... reply