Why yaoi semes have shitty behavior

Call me slow or dumb but does yaoi normalizes horrible semes since Asian countries treat their women like total shit and that is projected in most sex scenes? I feel like finding straight or Yuri romances without sa is easier than yaoi specially since sex scenes are such a big part of yaoi, these behaviors are much more present. It’s genuinely difficult finding any yaoi without dubious consent but it makes much more sense if the women writing thse BLs are basing it off their own or generally the woman experience of being with a man. It always seemed strange to me as a gay guy that these sex roles are so strictly implemented and decide which man has power over the other but it makes more sense seeing it from their perspective