I AM SO CONSTIPATED, IBS SURVIVORS PLS HELP!!!!!

guys i haven't taken a proper shit in like sooo longgg i am going insane!!! i haven't shitted in 5 days and i deadass look pregnant.. but it's literally just SHIT in there like I NEED TO SHIIIIIT I WANNA POOP PLEASE!

i literally tried everything i could (diet, exercise, probiotics and kombucha, drinking warm water with apple cider vinegar first thing in the morning, fucking fasting, etc...) except see a professional about it since i CANNOT afford it atm. like i know i should be seeing a doctor abt this issue but like what if i have cancer bruuhh i can't afford that shit rn!!! and like i can't trust my assurance bro they be covering FUCK ASS NOTHINGG!! fuck!!!!

so if you have any tips that ACTUALLY WORK, aka a specific food/diet/recipe that helps with bowel movements, that you've tried and it works every single time, please SHARE PLEASEEE!!! shit i would even join a cult atp just to be able to poop everyday. please help a girl out thx xoxo <3