nuance in the consumption of bl

i think as yaoi/bl is becoming more mainstream these days and "trending," certain arguments and accusations are getting rehashed. one being the fetishization and anti-fujoshi side of the debate.
you can check my account. i've made plenty criticism of and questioned the bl genre. however! women enjoying yaoi does NOT equate to men enjoying lesbian porn. men fetishizing lesbian relationships often reinforces a patriarchal system where the male gaze dominates and women's sexuality is performed for men. in contrast, women engaging with yaoi is typically an act of reclaiming the gaze itself. it's about exploring sexuality from a female perspective, free from the traditional role of being the objectified subject. one upholds an existing power structure, while the other subverts it to create a space for female desire.
additionally, consider the cultural, geographic, and historical context of these stories. these ideas aren't entirely my own (many ppl have probs made these points lol, and also i saw a tik tok recently of a woman explaining something similar) btw. but basically, queerness and queer people have been shunned as taboo and exist on the margins of society. therefore, it is natural that queer stories will also follow that pattern - both as reclaiming that social position and also because existing in the mainstream subconsciously feels abnormal. might i add that women being sexual creatures with desires and sex drives is also a taboo and shunned concept, especially in Asia. it makes sense, then, that media that explores these things will represent and resemble that "taboo" dynamic. yaoi/bl as a whole is also a shifting and developing genre that grows over time. the types of stories we see put out reflect that. AND id argue that straight stories honestly depict very similarly harmful topics and ideas and are arguably much more powerful in influencing social dynamics and culture than bl.
really rough argument. i could talk about all this for hours. but its been on my mind for a while, esp because the more people that actually get into yaoi/bl, naturally the more critical people will be without understanding the history and culture of it.