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So it going to be a long rant. I will try to keep it as simple as possible considering the length of the situation. I am 15 years old, doing A levels, living with my parents and I have a younger sister who is 13 years old. We are Muslims so if anyone knows the religious concept of it then they might have a better understanding of how hypocrite it is but u don't necessarily need to know that to understand this. It has been going for a long time. Around 10 years? My parents are married over kind of forced bcuz my mom didn't had the luxury of saying no since she was gaslighted by ppl saying my dad is apparently a very good man. Which was of course a lie. He is a narcissist, liar, greedy, hates seeing my mom succeed, female hater, has shit ton anger issues and breaks stuff and all. My mom is a clinical psychologist doing her PHD which she dreamt of doing. He is a Banker working under a company which I won't mention. He has a debt of around 163k dollars (there is more since he has 2 personal loan but we don't know the approximate amount) but in my currency it's a lot since 1 dollar is approximately 120 in my currency. And unfortunately this debt is only increasing day by day. He earns about 1,400 dollars (not in dollars but in my currency). He doesn't specify why he has this much loan. He doesn't tell me or my mom where this money goes. He keeps saying it goes all to my studies and the fraud case they got into which was initially his fault but legally it's registered under my mom's name. Along with 77 thousand dollar debt in that 163k debt. My mom recently got a scholarship (which will not allow her to work for a year) but he forced her to not take it. And threatened that if she takes the scholarship, she has to pay all his debts. He is using credit card to pay off the debt so to sum it he is taking money from the bank to give money to the bank. Remind u this is someone who has majored in Accounting. And recently he got Asthma. None of his side family ever called him to know how we or he is doing, only called for money(common thing we all or maybe most of us has seen). And he keeps defending them and giving them money and lying to us that he is spending on us. And since he never was able to pay the debt nor is doing any help of paying the debt, it will come crashing to my mom. Before anyone suggest that why she never helped him with the debt and loans, he refused every time and even said she should quit her job. And knowing my mom has a small brain tumor which was diagnosed a year ago, which means I won't have too long before I am alone. So all this increasing debts will come crashing down to me and my sister. And he knows it but he isn't trying to even low it a bit. I am not here asking for sympathy or pity cause while it may feel good for now, but not forever. So I am asking if anyone knows any way for this debt to decrease or any way I can help my mom take off this burden? Also to mention, she can't divorce him cuz it's a bad thing in our society. Thank you for hearing me even if you have nothing to say. I am grateful being listened to. If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer.
What you’re dealing with is actually a lot, and you explained it really well. But first this is not your debt, like at all. That’s not something that just gets passed to you, so don’t feel like you have to fix everything. The main thing is protecting your mom. From what you said, your dad isn’t just bad with money, he’s lowkey controlling...... 1 reply