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advice
ok so my best friend is friends with a girl since highschool. i know this girl too since i was also in the same school as them.
and basically this girl has BPD and maybe bipolar disorder. she’s really NOT mentally well and my bsf is thinking of cutting ties with her because it impacts her negatively. she’s just scared of feeling guilty and that her friend will think she’s being abandoned.
i told my bsf that she definitely cut ties with her friend, because i know it’s not her friend’s fault, but damn it’s so exhausting for my bsf bc everytime she says smth or do smth she gotta walk on eggshells all. the. time.
how can you even tell someone who has such mental disorder that you’re breaking friendship with them? should she cut ties fr or is it too mean ? would YOU cut ties with someone because of their mental illness even if deep down u know its not their fault?
i’m demanding advices bc her friend is suicidal and im scared if my bsf tells her « bye », her friend will attempt and it’ll cause pain and anxiety to my bsf
as someone who has been the person who was so mentally unwell ppl cut ties with me; it'll NEVER EVER (your best friend's)BE HER FAULT. Your friend has every right to cut ties with that person !! What this girl does after will never be your bsf's fault.
it's hard and honestly it's such a hard story for everyone involved but your bsf needs to leave ...... 1 reply
The whole thing sounds messy, your bsf is risking her own mental health for someone else. She can either be transparent and communicate with this person or cut them off. You cannot be responsible for other people's actions, it's true you can influence them but people at the end of the day make the choice on their own. What's the alternative? you ca...... 1 reply
This is just me but i would be way more devastated to found out a person was forcing themselves to be my friend than knowing they cut ties with me bc my own behavior was affecting them
Then again i understand where your bsf is coming from, if this girl is unstable enough it could lead to a bad reaction.
Either way, having to constantly walk on thin...... 1 reply
Ive been in a situation where I was around a girl who was mentally taxing to be around, but at the same time everyone around her had also left her for being mentally taxing to be around. I could sense I was her last rock of support albeit against my will, and I was scared she'd do something drastic as she's a very sensitive irrational person. I stu...... 1 reply
I'm someone who has bipolar two. When I feel myself going into a depressive episode or just having negative thoughts, I distance myself from my friends for a while so my own issues won't effect them as well, and they are all so understanding of it and give me the space I need.
From my experience the best way to cut off people with personality dis...... reply
okay perhaps i should add more context to this.
let’s call her friend : potato.
my bsf is nowhere near a fake person nor someone who talks badly abt her friends and acts nice in front of them. the thing is, potato is like… very impulsive. potato constantly sends her texts like « please don’t leave me » or shit like that whenever my bs...... 1 reply
if someone impacts you negatively, you cut them off, period. what's there even to think about?? her mental health is not your friend's problem. and regarding being suicidal... well I've been suicidal in the past and if learned that someone's staying friends with me out of fear, it would crush me much harder bc I'm not a manipulative piece of shit a...... 1 reply
Cut ties. This relationship between them is benefitting neither actually. Your friend is an emotional trash can crutch for the BPD person and is a negative force in her own life.....then the BPD person is using your friend as an emotional support human which actually is not benefitting them to heal and change their ways and maybe learn new ways t...... 2 reply
imo the best way to leave this friendship would be for your friend to slowly ease out of it. so if they text daily, slowly reduce the texts over a period of time till it makes sense to simply not talk anymore. same with in person communication. just slowly disengage. it might hurt your friend to do this, but it's better not to be in a friendship ou...... 1 reply
i know it's easier said than done but please remind your bsf that it's not her responsibility to bear another person's mental illness nor is it her fault if anything were to happen. yes, it's hard for people with bipolar disorder to maintain relationships and they shouldn't just isolate themselves because of it however that friend of your friend ne...... 1 reply
