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internalized homophobia or wtv you call it
i know this isn’t the place to open up about stuff like this but ive lowkey been struggling with this kind of mindset for a while and i know others may relate
it’s been a couple years since I realized the signs and I’ve been ignoring them for a while cuz i grew up in an extremely homophobic household. i really wanna deny being gay especially with my parents’ pressure of straight relationships. every time i joke about dating a girl (honestly curious abt their reaction as if it’ll ever change) they are definitely disappointed even if it’s a joke. i hate myself for thinking this way and wish i could change my sexuality so it’s not problem—when i feel love for a girl, i feel disgusted by myself and could legit picture my family’s hatred for my lover and me. literally everything would be better if i could just love the opposite gender. ive accepted there’s nothing i can do but this feeling of disgust lingers which is why im ignoring the signs even though I KNOW it’s ok to date a girl anyone else struggling or struggled with this? how’d you cope cuz i know this mindset is hella unhealthy
Hii :), well I understand you cause I've been in your place before. I grew up in an extremely religious and homophobic household and I unfortunately grew up w that mindset . I was so corny hating on queer people, forcing religion on them .So when I realized that I wanted a women as much as I wanted a man my whole world was turned upside down.I rem...... reply
Tbh, in the past when I came out to my therapist, I felt such disgust with myself for thinking about having a girlfriend or being attracted to women; it didn't help that the therapist kept trying to make me straight, like suggesting watching straight porn or suggesting kissing a guy to see if I liked it. Tbh, her suggestion felt way grosser; no way...... 1 reply
I am not in your situation. But I can tell you one thing. If you can't accept yourself,nobody will accept you. Your family comes later.. If your family loves you enough, they will change their mind one day if your happy. So,I hope that you don’t your yourself. Our sexuality isn't our choice 1 reply
Oh no bbg, I'm sorry you're struggling with that, I was in that phase before actually realising that damn I'm actually queer asf, i won't come out to my parents cuz this is a homophobic country tho, I hope ur not the same, you seem young and going through some figuring outs, and I think in the end no matter what you'll come to the conclusion that...... 1 reply
