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Standards
What actually counts as having high standards when it comes to love? And when do those standards become too low—or are just the bare minimum? Does it all come down to personal preference, or are there certain standards that everyone “should” have?
For example: if i’m looking for a partner who needs to be smarter than me in different areas, or must talk and understand our language good and overall just mature. Is that asking for too much?
i'm not sure why, as a society, we created this term high standards when it's just attributes that we want for our partners to have. it's not asking for too much. it's basically one of the foundations of your relationship. is it unattainable? no. but is it possible? maybe.
ofc, most people desire to have a fulfilling love. a partner that checks a...... 1 reply
you should have high standards, especially nowadays when people don't even ask for the bare minimum, like no buying flowers is not princess treatment or paying for the meal anywhere isn't princess treatment, it's the bare minimum.
imo if you low standards, men (or anyone for that matter) thinks your easy, trust having high standards is great for y...... reply
Your expectations aren't standards, standardization needs a frame of reference. What you described are qualities you want in a potential partner. But there definitely are aspects that you should prioritize in your partner, which are pretty universal, like some comments have mentioned. Mutual respect, communication, conflict resolution without showi...... reply
i think standards should be based on what exactly you need or would make you feel that you are being loved. it is bare minimum if it's about things that couples should be 'really' having like proper communication and respect toward each other because that's literally what a relationship should have to work, right? it's not decided but society, just...... reply
Me personally, I spent way too much time reading about romance than interacting with other people. (Past 4 few weeks the only person I’ve talked to in person is my sister, that’s how bad it is)
So my expectations are so high and unrealistic I’ve pretty much given up on dating in general. Like even if the partner is good, I highly doubt the e...... 1 reply
It's not too much, it's too little, you are asking for crumbs.
You have to know EXACTLY what you want, or you are gonna get whatever and think this is just life. I think there is no such thing as high standards, the only reason why some people can't get what they want while claiming to have high standards, is they don't actually believe they can h...... reply
i rlly dislike the idea that dating should happen on standards. Like yea, you should probably have a mental note in your head like oh dont get in a serious relationship with someone with a gambling problem for example, but the rest is very nothing.
Like, it just gamifies dating in a way where you just look at the people in your life and often your...... reply
we all deserve the minimum, of course we should have standards when it comes to our partner. but im not talking about being smarter than me or being beautiful or anything like that. when i say i have standards, it's about the mindset, like they have to respect everybody the same no matter the gender, skin color, religion, origin, culture, and ofc r...... reply
The example you gave are qualities and preferences you want in a partner, not standards. People tend to confuse somebody's standards as an expectation that should be met. And people confuse their own expectations as a standard people should abide by.
This was helpful to me and learned this from a psychologist:
Boundaries: what you commit to doin...... reply
