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welcome to my Ted talk— MD is Wrong, chanwoo did nothing wrong

Stabrina May 30, 2020 3:14 pm

We all know that BL logic dictates that they get together after this but I really hope they don’t.

What MD did was fucked up and honestly Chanwoo wasn’t in the wrong. He went to ask his Dom for permission to date because they had agreed to keep a strictly professional relationship. He wasn’t planning on dating behind his dom’s back which shows he really respected MD.

But then MD uses the other sub who just betrayed and hurt Chanwoo to hurt Chanwoo even more. I don’t want to believe that Chanwoo just used the safe word out of just jealousy. Sure there was probably some there but he only started crying when MD smiled. In Chanwoo’s eyes MD was enjoying Chanwoo’s misery and was putting so much emotional damage on him of course he was going to break.

To simplify Chanwoo’s tears as just jealousy would be dumbing down this horrific situation MD forced him into. Yes, forced him into. Sure he could have said no, but he just lost his boyfriend who was a traitorous scum and he was about to lost his Dom too if he didn’t go along with this. Also who would want to lose their partner to their betrayer? MD knew that no wasn’t really an option so he happily hurt a Chanwoo for his own self satisfaction. I don’t know too much about the BDSM world, but I’m pretty sure putting your sub through this level of emotional abuse is a big no and no amount of aftercare can really make up for the shit MD just pulled.

Do I want them to get together? Eventually. But not because of this.

Responses
    smol_sips May 30, 2020 3:16 pm

    thank you for saying this

    Biss May 30, 2020 3:18 pm

    Thank you! I'm so terrified that only a small percent understands the severity of the situation and sees how MD was in the wrong.
    Once again thanks for perfect explanation.

    Direwolf May 30, 2020 3:19 pm

    I absolutely agree with this. This goes Against the consent they had going before, and it's just not healthy. MD needs to beg for forgiveness tbh

    maychan May 30, 2020 3:20 pm

    not he was in the wrong knowing MD feelings for him!! it was wrong from his side! think about how you feel if you tell someone you love them, and then him coming back with another girl to show off how in love he is. that will hurt you and it's not right!

    QingTheB May 30, 2020 3:26 pm

    This is all actual and all factual

    jollybunny012 May 30, 2020 3:27 pm
    not he was in the wrong knowing MD feelings for him!! it was wrong from his side! think about how you feel if you tell someone you love them, and then him coming back with another girl to show off how in love h... maychan

    That’s a situation that should be confronted through dialogue and open communication, not through manipulation or coercion into unwanted bdsm play like MD used.

    LoveforHawkeye May 30, 2020 3:28 pm

    Agreed

    QingTheB May 30, 2020 3:28 pm
    not he was in the wrong knowing MD feelings for him!! it was wrong from his side! think about how you feel if you tell someone you love them, and then him coming back with another girl to show off how in love h... maychan

    Not everybody you love has to be with you, that's a selfish and spoilt way of thinking. The relationship they had was business and Chanwoo respected MD and even asked his permission first when he didn't even have to. Just because MD says he loves Chanwoo doesn't mean Chanwoo has to bend over backwards to accommodate him, sorry that you live in a fantasy ┑( ̄Д  ̄)┍

    maychan May 30, 2020 3:31 pm
    That’s a situation that should be confronted through dialogue and open communication, not through manipulation or coercion into unwanted bdsm play like MD used. jollybunny012

    Chan still should have done that! no matter how prideful and how amazing he think he is, that was horrible and it is a fact! he should not have done that to MD!

    maychan May 30, 2020 3:31 pm
    Not everybody you love has to be with you, that's a selfish and spoilt way of thinking. The relationship they had was business and Chanwoo respected MD and even asked his permission first when he didn't even ha... QingTheB

    Chan still should have done that! no matter how prideful and how amazing he thinks he is, that was horrible and it is a fact! he should not have done that to MD!
    the show off his new sex partner - it was wrong and horrible from his side!

    SomethingStupid May 30, 2020 3:41 pm

    I know everyone's been saying it in the replies but I genuinely cannot thank you enough for this comment this is exactly what I've been preaching since like 3 chapters ago and I feel like no one has agreed or had a sensible opinion about it. Like people just salty cause they're so used to the ukes tripping over themselves to please the semes but MD does not own Chanwoo they agreed from the beginning it was purely dom/sub and Chanwoo has always been dating around. He was not "flaunting" his new bf or whatever, he was respecting their relationship by getting approval. He's not just gonna not date anyone or drop everything cause MD caught feelings when he doesn't return them oml. People need to be realistic. And realize how much pain MD put Chanwoo through, how toxic and abusive and unhealthily controlling this whole play has been. A simple apology ain't gonna fix it, especially after all his talk about treating Chanwoo right wtf

    Stabrina May 30, 2020 3:46 pm
    Chan still should have done that! no matter how prideful and how amazing he thinks he is, that was horrible and it is a fact! he should not have done that to MD!the show off his new sex partner - it was wrong a... maychan

    You’re siding with the abuser by trying to explain his actions as being ok. But that aside let me explain why you’re wrong. Because you’re placing the blame on the WRONG PERSON.

    Chanwoo did talk to MD about it. They AGREED to keep it professional. That was the end of that conversation. If MD had a problem still he should have been the one to open that line of communication again. When MD went to meet Chanwoo and his then boyfriend, Chanwoo had already filled MD in on the situation because MD asked “is this him?” Along those lines rather than “so what is this about?” If MD had a problem with meeting, he would have brought it up before then or at the meeting. Obviously he was still butt hurt but how on earth do you expect Chanwoo to be a mind reader about that? At that point they’d agreed to be professional and MD had agreed to meet with his almost boyfriend to get permission.

    Ultimately no one is in charge of taking care of MD’s feelings except for MD himself. He is not a child. He is a grown ass man in his thirties. Don’t coddle this character with the “oh but his precious feefees were hurt because someone didn’t want to date him”. You’re putting the blame on Chanwoo because he said no thanks— something that all of us have the right to say if someone asks us out.

    maychan May 30, 2020 3:52 pm
    You’re siding with the abuser by trying to explain his actions as being ok. But that aside let me explain why you’re wrong. Because you’re placing the blame on the WRONG PERSON.Chanwoo did talk to MD abou... Stabrina

    in other words, it's okay to hurt someone else feelings cause you can and MD should respect that others ignoring his feelings?! that only common sense by the way when someone says he is in love with you. the fact that Chan is fucking dumb to get he is hurting MD feelings KNOWING he is in love with him is Chan fault.
    and no I don't care what he did to Chan since he never said no! it was Chan choice to stay and it stays his choice! no matter how much a baby you make him out to be!
    nope, I don't feel bad for Chan nor do I feel bad for MD, I only said the facts! you okay with uke hurting others' feelings but when Seme doing the same, he is abusive, how stupid!

    Stabrina May 30, 2020 3:54 pm
    Chan still should have done that! no matter how prideful and how amazing he thinks he is, that was horrible and it is a fact! he should not have done that to MD!the show off his new sex partner - it was wrong a... maychan

    So what if what Chanwoo did was a little hurtful? That was completely unavoidable. It would have been much worse if MD found out that Chanwoo was hiding a boyfriend from him.

    It’s not like he was saying “hey look at this hot piece of ass I’m banging instead of you”. (They weren’t having sex yet anyway) At that point he was asking permission to officially date this guy who was treating him right for once in his entire life of dating abusive assholes. PERMISSION. That was a show of extreme respect to MD and MD decided to shit on that respect by forcing Chanwoo to have sex with the guy who betrayed him.

    Is it rape if someone is coerced into sex even if they technically agreed? Yeah, it is actually. ((Ex from a show I saw a long time ago, a homeless mother agreed to have sex with the guy who impounded her car which was the only place she and her daughter had to sleep for the night because they had no where else to go. That’s rape.)) in this case chanwoo agreed to have sex with his betrayer/abuser because he was going to lose his partner if he didn’t. Feel free to make any connections.

    Biss May 30, 2020 3:54 pm
    You’re siding with the abuser by trying to explain his actions as being ok. But that aside let me explain why you’re wrong. Because you’re placing the blame on the WRONG PERSON.Chanwoo did talk to MD abou... Stabrina

    I also don't get why everyone is talking as if Chanwoo charged into MD's apartment with his bf.... Without any word. When MD willingly met with them.

    maychan May 30, 2020 4:00 pm
    So what if what Chanwoo did was a little hurtful? That was completely unavoidable. It would have been much worse if MD found out that Chanwoo was hiding a boyfriend from him. It’s not like he was saying “he... Stabrina

    we actually didn't see what they talk about before they meet, and even if he told him it is still fucking horrible he did that to MD KNOWING his feelings for him! no matter how much you say it isn't Chan fault. if you can say it is still MD fault Chan hurt his feelings by bringing his sex partner to show off then the same I can say about Chan decides to stay and not say the safe word cause he got jealous to MD. it's not MD fault Chan was jealous and wanted to stay with him, MD should not baby him either or care about his feelings.

    Chan isn't a baby either! so stop treat him like one!! he made his choice.

    Stabrina May 30, 2020 4:10 pm
    we actually didn't see what they talk about before they meet, and even if he told him it is still fucking horrible he did that to MD KNOWING his feelings for him! no matter how much you say it isn't Chan fault.... maychan

    I’m so sure you’re not actually reading my comments because I’ve already refuted why what chanwoo did was not horrible. It was “a little hurtful.” If being honest with someone in a respectful way is considered abuse in your book then we’re just talking over each other and will never agree. Also I reread the chapter where Chanwoo turned down MD and MD quite gracefully accepts the refusal. And Chanwoo even goes on to ask if MD is okay to which Md says “of course.”

    I also explained why “no” or saying the safe word at the start wasn’t an option either. But clearly you didn’t read that either or my example of someone being coerced into sex because they saw no other options.

    Chanwoo isn’t a baby, no. He was sexually and emotionally abused by his trusted partners. Why wouldn’t I want to defend a victim from tone death readers who side with MD?

    Stabrina May 30, 2020 4:12 pm
    we actually didn't see what they talk about before they meet, and even if he told him it is still fucking horrible he did that to MD KNOWING his feelings for him! no matter how much you say it isn't Chan fault.... maychan

    I can also see that we’re not going to agree and further argument is pointless. I’m just glad there are more people in this world that agree with me on this than.... whatever point you’re trying to make I suppose.

    Bye bye

    maychan May 30, 2020 4:31 pm
    I’m so sure you’re not actually reading my comments because I’ve already refuted why what chanwoo did was not horrible. It was “a little hurtful.” If being honest with someone in a respectful way is c... Stabrina

    1. I never ever use the word abuse, YOU DID! cause abuse NEVER happens here. the fact you even using it show you don't know the meaning behind the word.

    2. if you can say hurting other people's feelings, while you know they have feelings for you is “a little hurtful.” then what MD did is also "“a little hurtful.” since he gives him the choice to leave.

    3. if you too young to read this DON'T read this!

    smol_sips May 30, 2020 4:36 pm

    after seeing chanwoo cry from all that emotional manipulation, how the heck can you still say that md is in the right here? regardless of whatever chanwoo “did”, what md did wasn't okay from any standpoint. like forcing him to suck another guy’s dick? not remotely ok. especially considering that md likely knew that chanwoo wouldn’t back down based on his personality. completely agree with you OP, and once again, thank you for posting this.