Nyxmeow's Topics (175)

Well, it seems like we're getting a hint that 1. his "sexy current partner" might actually be his controlling manipulate partner and 2. He...was dating this dude the whole time so...he was having an affair throughout his marriage.
Tbh I want him to reject him too, but thats just bc he's nothing special and the kid should move on to somebody who really likes him. I mean the dude was clearly gay the whole time, not interested in him, and then lied to him about his sexuality and made it seem like he thought being gay was abnormal when it was clear the younger dude was gay which is really shitty to do to a kid, oh and also he married a woman and lied to her about his sexuality and cheated on her when none of that was necessary. But, feels like the author is going to pull a whole the dark haired dude doesn't know how to be loved because he's been in a bad relationship for a long time.

While I hope I'm wrong, I think we're about to find out that his current partner is not so great...

Sigh. You might be right about Mr. Sexy, and the way the story goes, it's pretty standard Yaoi world logic. (Although so far I think he seems nice?) But this is what I'd love to happen: there's an angsty back story to why Black Hair and Mr. Sexy have been involved for so long without really being together, Black Hair getting married etc. Puppy Love is a catalyst for them to get their shit together and be together properly. Of course I'd feel a bit sorry for Puppy Love, but it'd be a noble sacrifice. Anyway, puppy love is not real love 99.9% of the time, and it's not a good basis for a relationship 98% of the time.

Also I feel compelled to say that I don't think Black Hair should be blamed for how he rejected Puppy Love. This little kid starts to love/worship him; obviously he doesn't reciprocate because it's a freaking little kid. Little kid never grows out of it, but meanwhile, Black hair has grown up, had experiences and an emotional life that Puppy Love has absolutely no idea about. Watching someone, from a comparatively immature perspective, does not mean you actually know or understand them. The age gap means they've never been on the same wavelength. Now, I can totally understand how a closeted 25-year-old would feel that playing the "You're a man" card would be the best and most effective way of letting a 17-year-old down easy. Again yaoi world logic, if he'd let on he was fine with guys then the response probably would have been "No I can't give up I'll make you fall for me", which incidentally was exactly what happened anyway. He had no clue that Puppy Love already knew he was gay, and he wasn't comfortable outing himself - he should not be blamed for that.

Holy words! You said exactly what I actually think about the black hair guy and his relationship with the younger guy, I don't really understand why people here in the comment section keep slut-shaming him.

I whole-heartedly agree with everything that's been said.

I wasn't saying he should be blamed for not coming out to him, but you can sternly rejecting people and use other reasons rather than make some body think you think gay people are gross. That was unnecessarily cruel. He did do it with the intention of wanting to hurt the younger guy and with the hopes that pain would drive him away and make it clear he wasn't interested. So yeah, I think he can be blamed for that. Its more wrong, to me, for a gay person to put down other gay people for being gay (especially when he knew the kid was struggling with accepting his sexuality) even if they're struggling with it themselves than.

I agree that he is obviously an obsessed kid and needs to take no for an answer, but I think at a point he did. They were out of contact for years and he accepted the guy as married and backed off. It actually seems like he had backed off from the time he was 17 and confessed. He went to school and left the dude alone. He was still obsessed but he kept it to himself it seems. He shouldn't have kept pushing it past that point, but again, he was the kid/minor in this scenario so the black haired dude is more responsible for how he handles the situation. Thats just life. When you're the older one, the responsibility and maturity lies more with you to handle the situation, especially when the other is a minor. Whether its right or wrong, fair or unfair...thats just how it is.

But, to be honest, none of it is really any of the characters faults. All of these problems are caused by the author's poor writing/use of stereotypes. Its pretty clear from the writing style that its following conventions and stereotypes about gay men you see often in bl since this is made by a straight women with no experience of what a gay person, much less a gay man, is realistically like. She doesn't really get how it works and is unknowingly writing some messed up relationships and characters.

Yeah I'm so sick of that! I see it all the time in bl comment sections. If the character who bottoms has any other sexual relationships people call him a slut! Like...he's an adult who can choose his partners and have sex with whoever he wants. He doesn't have to wait or tie himself down to a kid that can't take no for an answer. Most adult have several different sexual partners throughout their life, if people think that is slutty....then tbh they're probably all minors that are saying that stuff.

My bet is the older dude probably didn't want to give his own parents the smallest reason to suspect him, back then when he was a teenager, since he himself had started a gay relationship and was probably desperate to hide it. He must have thought it safest not to change his excuse from the time they were kids (when he rejected him in front of bothe their parents) because he was afraid their parents might find out and become suspicious about it if he suddenly started changing his attitude and giving Eunho supportive comments about being gay...

Remember this is written by korean author. So as an asian people, i think not coming out is perfectly normal. In asia being gay still considered as a bad things, so people usually hide it or it will ruin their reputation (not all asia, i heard one asia country legalize gay marriage. But most of it still think it's taboo). So what it think is, the uke not really trying to put down other gay people. Since the seme is still a minor, and he still see the seme as a kid he probably just assume the seme is confuse with his sexuality or he dont't want to be the one who responsible for making the seme gay? Well i dunno, let just see how the story goes.

And please don't blame the author, gay in asia country is pretty rare thing (i mean it's hard for them to come out). i never met a gay person in real life (even drag queen). So i think i get it if the author only use stereotypes of gay people from the point of view in her/his society. And she/he really tried her/his best to make angsty story, personaly i like angsty story so the more messed up the more i like it ლ(´ڡ`ლ). And deep down i don't want them to be together but oh well whatever the author like it, if i start to hate the story i probably just drop it.

Yeah...but it was the time when they were alone that he made the harsh comment about being gay....

I know its different in other countries and each country has its own ways of dealing with gay people and being gay...but there are a lot of things that are universal when it comes to actual gay people, and not just what people who aren't gay think about what its like to be gay or what gay people are like and believe and value. Its pretty universal in all modern gay communities that making people in your own community feel bad about being gay coming from a gay person...is taboo. Like, thats a huge way to get yourself hated in the community. Thats a universal thing. While there are things to be considerate of in each different country and circumstances are important, real gay people are different from all the faux "angsty" bl you read. The author did try to make it angsty. At the expensive of seeing gay people as real people. She doesn't even know she's doing it. This is the narrative of gay men by a straight woman that is trying to make something dark/angsty. And you know what most straight women default to in this case? The narrative of how hard and sad and "angsty" it is to be gay and be part of the gay community and accepting yourself and having healthy relationships. Yes, people do have a hard time accepting themselves when they've been raised conservatively, but most real people get into the lgbt community throughout that time or soon after it because you need to for your health and well being. The average gay person is nowhere near as "tortured" and hating themselves as a lot of bl portrays...

And if you think that her not knowing because she isn't part of the community or hasn't been around gay people is a viable excuse....I mean...it just isn't. Don't write gay characters if you don't take gay people seriously or actually understand them. If you don't go to places and associate with gay people, you don't have any business trying to write a character you can't even bother to really try to understand.

Im just...so sick of female authors, especially in asia, thinking its okay to write these characters they don't understand aside from reading bl or looking at things online. I didn't mean for this to turn into a rant...but there are so many straight female authors writing gay men from other straight girls that don't even know gay people (you do btw, you just don't know which ones are gay) and...they get the narrative so wrong. It can be frustrating when misinformation is spread by the uninformed to more uninformed and then just kind of accepted and internalized...

Yeah i can see how you see it. I guess it just different perspective, i guess you from west country thats why your mind is more open. But i really think being gay is hard in here. I remember there a viral post on gay couple taking a photo together and caption some love dovey stuff and they got bully because of it. Yep they got viral because people though it disgusting. My country full of homophobe, well it's got a lot better than few years ago but it still not a nice place to live for gay people.
I know there some community for lgbt, but what i know is in red distric area. But again, i don't know much about it, but like you said i'm sure they have another lgbt community that not in red distric area.

I kinda agree, they should do more research before write those story. Sometime i sick of the same over used yaoi plot.

I love you guys, just taking a moment to appreciate this intelligent, respectful, reasoned discussion. <3 <3 <3

All right, first. I went back and reread the 17 yr old confession scene, to make sure of my impressions of it. Jaeha did not EVER imply that he thought being gay was gross or anything like that, I think that is a total misunderstanding. Please reread this page: http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/lover_boy_lezhin/uu/lover_boy_lezhin-chapter-2/26/
The previous convo was --
Jaeha: You know that I'm a man, right?
Eunho: I'm a man too... Hyung, I don't know why such things would bother you.
(Jaeha halts).
Then the page above. He never ever says anything bad about being gay. He's asking why Eunho thinks it shouldn't bother him - as in "What do you know?"
As far as I know, we haven't seen how that conversation ended, please correct me if I'm wrong. But as it stands, Jaeha was behaving exactly like I think an adult would when faced with a kid who thinks that he loves hyung best, therefore hyung should love him back, no actual connection necessary. Seriously, Eunho sounds totally immature - as he should, because he IS emotionally immature at 17 (not all 17 year olds are, but Puppy Love certainly is IMO). I certainly wouldn't try to tell this drunk, emotional kid "I am okay with guys, nothing personal but I don't want to be with YOU (for whatever reason)."

As for the rest. Yes, many times yes. I suspect and fear that we'll just end up with Generic BL Plot (TM) and Generic BL Characters in this story. Just the fact that the flashback to the confession was interspersed with Jaeha having sex with Mr. Sexy (damnit what is his name??) suggests that it is going to be about Puppy Love in the end. As well as all the focus on Stalky's new art hobby. (Yuck.) I even think (bear in mind I haven't seen the raws) that poor Mr. Sexy will eventually turn out to be the friend with benefits who always really loved him and gets left out in the cold. Because of the obnoxious brat who couldn't give up and eventually wears the object of his obsession down. Totally standard yaoi plot.

My favourite yaoi mangaka are Yoneda Kou and Miyamoto Kano (with massive shout-outs to Ogeretsu Tanaka and Ichikawa Kei), in large part because they write mature, complex stories with nuanced, complicated, HUMAN characters. Sadly, a lot of BL is not such a treat. BL is very interesting as a genre, because as you say Viira, it is stories about gay men written almost always by straight women, mainly for an audience of straight women. That usually means it ends up being disappointingly heteronormative - and invites incredibly heteronormative reactions like slut-shaming from young/conservative readers (booooo, shame shame, like you guys I hate it with a fiery passion). And it's also very interesting, and sometimes very frustrating to me, because as you say, Ryo, it is written by people from a different culture to mine, with a different attitude towards sexuality in general, let alone homosexuality. I'm a bi female, I have quite a few friends who are gay or bi (men and women). So believe me, I know that BL is incredibly unrealistic a LOT of the time. I can enjoy a lot of it for what it is, some of it makes me angry because of its ignorance. But in this case I am afraid that I'll be disappointed by an average, generic story that had greater potential.

Again, you guys are great!!! This comment thread was a treat when I got home from work!

Then it wasn't rape... right(⊙…⊙ )

Well actually um... technically it was 'statutory rape'. Any adult who has sex with a minor (underage), even if the minor consents, is committing statutory rape and can be arrested and charged by police. Minors can't LEGALLY consent, they're too young. If two minors have sex with each other nobody would get arrested, but when one is a minor and one is an adult, then the adult is committing a crime. --- At least, that's how the law works in my country (Australia).

in japan at 13 ur legal

That's only according to the archaic national law. Minors are protected by prefectural laws like child safety laws, which take legal precedence over the old national law and raise the age of consent to at the very least 16, or even 18 or 20. I actually had this conversation regarding another manga, and it's pretty well summed up by a comment by Rhea:

"While TECHNICALLY the age of consent is 13 due to some archaic laws, there are plenty of child safety laws that protect minors up until 18 or 20. Hence why it's not a regular, supported practice for adults to have relations with minors (and why things like being a lolicon is considered a BAD thing). While yes, there are always disgusting loopholes, the same could be said for the USA, sooo. Yeah. But for the most part, it is considered a crime to do things with minors even in Japan."

Full conversation (just in case you're interested - quite a few people sharing their countries' age of consent): http://www.mangago.me/home/mangatopic/2924140/

i pity him... But he need this pain to grow and leave the beta shitt behind and Nagisa is so hood person ....

I agree... I just hope that would work. Nagisa is an omega so there might always be the lingering fear that an alpha could take Nagisa away, maybe even by force. I think that's why he's always shown wearing the prominent safety collar.