[SPOILERS]
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First he refuses to say "I'm sorry," now he doesn't wanna say "I love you" either, so WHAT THE FUCK DO ACTUALLY WANNA DO HUH? Do u even want this to work???
I fear Garam needs to teach this guy a lesson and just up and leave in the middle of the night. Get this bitch chasing.
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"I was just shouting whatever came to mind. Garam's playing was absolutely flawless."—yes, we know lol.
But yeah, this clarified Compton's character for me, as well as validated the empathy that I was able to sustain for him since the previous chapters now that we know that apart from being the first student, he also used to be a huge fan of Heejae. The cut dug deeper for him since it's possible that unlike the others, his primary motivation to study under Heejae went beyond just having the privilege of being taught by a powerhouse in classical music, but also as a way to fulfill his dreams of playing alongside the person he looks up to. While Heejae's relationship with the rest may have came as purely transactional—both parties merely using each other as means to achieve individual greatness—it was personal for Compton, and the fall from the initial high hit him the hardest. It's a different kind of disappointment to be ripped into by the very person who inspired your craft. It's a feeling that's just so utterly humiliating and soul shredding to have mistakenly assumed a character out of someone based solely on the ecstasy you felt watching from afar, not realizing the kind of person lingering under that controlled facade. No wonder he left to conduct.
Anyway, repeat it with me: Heejae is the villain.
Idc if its bc he's undiagnosed or smth, his stubborn ass is obv aware that there's something up with him, he just can't be bothered with it. Like, he has a home in NYC for f's sake, it's not like he's stuck in Korea where mental health is still highly stigmatized. Smh, I hope Mamdani can fix this guy.
I mean tbf, this reaction was building itself up from the ground since the beginning of Compton and Garam's concerto contract. At its peak, Compton was fully convinced that he's found himself another soul to share the brunt of Heejae's hatred, and Garam, being backed into a corner, played into that.
It all comes crashing down when he's disillusioned by that scene of Garam and Heejae at the art gallery. To him, that is Garam being given the very thing that he so yearns for from Heejae. Like a piece of candy dangled in front of a child, he's being taunted by that scene. It gnaws at him deeply, betrayed by the alliance he thought he had. So, truly, him targeting Garam the very next day was to be expected.
What I am nervous about is how far he intends to take this seeing as he had just been throwing objects at his orchestra a few chapters ago. Moreover, I do think that whatever hate Compton gets as a character, should also extend to Heejae as they're essentially the same abusive bitch, only in different fonts. What cushions Heejae's character is his relationship with Garam and the fact that he's been treating him well the past chapters. But fundamentally, without Garam to reel him back, he's still the same piece of shit (as evidenced by how he treats orchestra members in his solo tour while Garam was away at London), just not deceptively manipulative like Compton as he's rather straightforward with his abuse.
Whatever warmth he was able to foster exists only as a product for his consideration to Garam, and not because he truly cares about the people in his immediate surroundings like Garam does.
Compton's character as the main antagonist to this arc of the story, serves to further highlight Heejae as the blade. The dichotomy between the first student and the last, and how they dealt with this blade was done so beautifully. Compton, the first to be wounded, had likely felt immense pressure to succeed being the first to be taught by Heejae. His teacher’s abusive pedagogy, almost as if done so purposefully as an act of disdain for his playing style was what fueled a hatred that turned him away from being a pianist, eventually morphing into deep-seethed resentment that masked his yearn for validation—an admiration far more profound than he could ever admit. Choosing to be a conductor was him showing that he could do without his teacher. The deliberate sabotage to Heejae's career, was his attempt to be acknowledged, and his vulnerability this chapter only confirms this. On the other hand, Garam being the student to dull the edges of this knife, using himself as the leather that wears down on its apex, while also simultaneously having the ability to sharpen it's metal burrs (I believe Garam implicitly acknowledges this during that chapter when him and Heejae played Rachmaninoff for Ms. Clarin) clashed sharply with this.
What's interesting is that Garam is very clearly portrayed as the ONLY one who would've been able to achieve this among all of Heejae's students. This was cemented early on in the story, from Heejae seeking out Garam's audition (?) piece to calm himself during bouts of rage, to ultimately sabotaging his other student such that Garam be the one to play beside him for Orpheus. Further supplementing this, Heejae was also the first to open that romantic connection with Garam when they first shared a kiss. While at the beginning, Garam was merely an object to Heejae's goal, Garam's drunken slur on Heejae's Chopin—how it revealed a lonely soul buried underneath a callous musician—was what tore away at that line.
Note: By audition piece, I mean the video that he submitted that got him the opportunity to be Heejae's student in the first place. Iirc, he was recommended by his previous teacher bc of his exceptional ability to comprehend and interpret pieces. So essentially Garam was favored from the very beginning bc of his playing style, but he was able go beyond that by being the only one to see past an exterior and peer into a lonely soul.
Tl;dr: Heejae is technically the bad guy and Garam is the only single thing redeeming his ass.
To think I'd get this ecstatic hearing him affirm their relationship and refer to himself as his boyfriend.
I'll get back to this once I find the right words to describe cum dump and his cult.
Searched this on the app and there's literally so many posts not even trying to hide the fact that they're reading illegally smh. Like, idc how much you wanna share this but at LEAST exercise some caution and put some effort in blocking out the text. In case y'all aren't aware yet, there are NO official english translations of this yet. Your actions are LITERALLY threatening to have this be TAKEN DOWN. YOU CANNOT BE A BEGGAR AND STUPID AT THE SAME TIME
Actually GAGGED with how freaky Garam is in the last panel. On the side note, though, absolutely ADORE how affectionate Heejae is this whole chapter.
As much as I've been thoroughly enjoying the casual intimacy they've been having these past chapters, I do think that there is something deeply unsettling with how Heejae has been handling his own personal matters that just can't be ignored—matters that, while may not directly involve Garam, does [and will] end up affecting him at the end of the day.
Apart from the obvious power imbalance (which I doubt will ever level-out considering the nature of how their relationship started in the first place), there is also a very apparent epistemic disparity caused by the lack of communication on Heejae's part which only serves to exacerbate this. Him having to micromanage every extension of Garam's being; his sound, the venues he performs at, how he should be perceived by the public, any conception of success Garam enjoys (as evidenced by the people he invited behind Garam's back), down to his clothes, and to some extent, the people he hangs out with is a response to his guilt towards a past he can no longer change—he has no control over.
The present him who has now found a reason for being, his gem—his Horowitz, can only bathe in insecurity as he now has something he does NOT want to lose, as such, he will try everything tl prevent this from happening. Garam voluntarily leaving for his own growth and peace will force Heejae to reflect on this guilt and how he has acted because of it thus far (cause God know this man will NEVER go to therapy lol)
Garam is sooo freaking juicy, literally had to stop for a minute on one of the panels just to admire his thighs.
This has effectively ruined every other BL for me. I can't find myself having the same kind of excitement whenever I see new chapters of this. This is quite literally the first thing that I check when I wake up in the morning, I don't even check updates from other BLs anymore.
This has effectively ruined every other BL for me. I can't find myself having the same kind of excitement whenever I see new chapters of this. This is quite literally the first thing that I check when I wake up in the morning, I don't even check updates from other BLs anymore.
I feel like one of those girls who keep coming back to their ex with the way I keep opening this site just to see if there are any new chapters. Sage doing god's work as always!
Genuinely the best thing that has graced me this entire month, truly a hidden gem among all the tired and repetitive bl tropes out there. I'm glad I've found this.
Genuinely tho, what's up with all the trolls uploading fake chapters on almost every bl on hiatus? Y'all can't even troll properly cause the shit u upload is mad unfunny
Honestly, wtf was I even expecting picking this up after dropping it a long time ago