The problem with people who keep using a toxic relationship to justify rape is that they're completely missing the point. Toxic relationships don't automatically lead to rape, and being toxic doesn't make sexual assault inevitable. This idea that rape is somehow a natural consequence of obsession, jealousy, or a dysfunctional relationship has been normalized in fiction to the point where people treat it as an expected plot development rather than questioning it. If you can't recognize that pattern, you're either being naive or deliberately ignoring it.
Authors are creative people who can take their stories in hundreds of different directions. The relationship could've been toxic in a thousand different ways without including rape. But the author deliberately chose to write it that way, and we're absolutely entitled to question that choice. The problem isn't that the relationship was toxic; it's that people keep using that toxicity to justify rape as though it were inevitable. It wasn't inevitable. It was a deliberate creative choice, and the author's decision to include it is absolutely open to criticism.
You could have treated him better and not to “train him like a dog” because you would have got that love back but no you went and mess everything up with your own hands. Such a surreal chp #－.－)
people underestimate the impact child abuse and trauma has on a person. i see a lot of comments pointing out how his past doesn't justify what he's done. it's not meant to. or "his actions don't make sense, he's a shit person." that's literally the point. a shit environment makes a shit person. and he was so young when it all happened too whereas jooin was older. and i don't think jooin even went through the same physical abuse he did. not to make this some trauma olympics, but jooyung went through really fked up shit that shaped his fked up personality.
jooin went through (mainly) manipulative emotional abuse by his mom. and jooyung literally had to fight to stay alive with a stepmom that was feeding him his allergies. their parents literally pitted them against each other even if jooin was passive about it.
it makes their story as siblings more heartbreaking actually... jooin was reaching out so they can find comfort in each other, but joohyung literally couldn't trust anyone, especially not the son of the stepmom who was trying to lowkey kill him.
i want to see a hopeful resolution between them but i know it won't happen... their father is the biggest villain here imo... pos is a cheater and a literal criminal that makes his children clean up his mess for him...
at least now jooin and yegyeom have each other TT and i hope jooyung can feel remorse and take the grace jooin and yegyeom have given him to heal and grow...
Hyung never even started the healing process before chap 80. I mean, look how he was still centering his rapist upbringing/feelings in his internal monologue. What he assumed was desensitization in the mental health professional sense of the term was in fact him developping a unhealthy coping mechanism, he became hypersexual ( common trauma response to SA/rape or growing up surrounded by unhealthy ppl ), exposed himself to porn content until he fully got used to this twisted version of intimacy, had reckless habits and casual sex with men he *choosed* in spite of what he couldnt consent to, making the abuse seem less impactful than it really was. What he needed the most wasnt people who indulged his urges but adressed the root and challenged his self-destructive pattern resulting from his internal victim blaming, "no its not your fault, you played no part in it, whatever you think you did to deserve it, you didnt and it shouldnt shape your path" but the men around him were broken or as broken as him so nobody could really reach to him from outside this circle of pain, turning themselves into a real ouroboros. Imo this story explore how without the right support system, the line between "healing" and "trauma bonding with your abuser/normalizing" is way thinner than ppl think, especially under patriarchy where rape culture is a core component of its structure and how mistaking the first for the second in a borderline desperate attempt to relieve the pain can lead you right back into the arms of the devil or to makes one with that devil whoever or whatever it might be ( as demonstrated when he tried to ride Boguk as he was asleep ). Didnt see such a realistic depiction of similar themes in the medium since Lost in the cloud ngl
Could someone spoil me on why he went back to his abuser like i read a comment about it but i still can’t really understand. I hate it so much when authors would make the character go back to their abuser like why tf but from the comments I’ve read this seems to be a darn well written and realistically story ( which is so fcking hard to find especially with manhwas). I would like to understand, could someone spoil this for me? Oh and i need to know does the rapist go to prison in the end?
I feel like a new born foal. This is so wonderfully written and is such a good portrayal of trauma. It killed me at parts to the point I was sobbing. It was painful to read how self destructive Woo Hyung was. I loved how the author delved into the very human ways we act selfishly when we’re in pain, how that manifests for different people too and especially on the nature of love. The portrayal of how each of them and how they approached love and expressed it or how obsession or posession, reliance isn’t love. Particularly between the ex-wife and him, so very good.
I could go on and on about this story. I can’t believe how much of a diamond this is. A mature and well thought out story that transcends the genre. I would recommend this to anyone, of course the smut might be an issue here but it was essential to the story telling. If anyone has any doubts, please read this. It’s a satisfying though a little rushed of an ending. Although be warned of its heavy contents, I struggled a ton with some of the traumatic parts.
As an asexual and an (in-denial) aro person with similar trauma it's so... Man I don't even know what to say. I think I pushed away the idea of reading this from the synopsis bc I was afraid it would trigger me or something. It hasn't! And I'm still able to empathize with Mc with a healthy distance, which means I'm not being triggered just because I've emotionally blocked myself off.
At this point, at chapter 24, I'm more concerned with the idea that existing in heteronormative spaces as an aro/ace person becomes an emotional wound that people (sometimes even I) brush off. Add on top of that the belated awakening to being aro/ace. People, even if they're coming from a place of good intent, can be very dismissive. It's been, thus far, a very alienating life experience. Lol
Edit: Noyeol confirms he's ace. Noa, Boguk, and Sujo seem to agree? But after finishing the story, I'd say between aromanticism and asexuality, the former was a bigger issue for Hyung. And I felt that. In a way I still haven't accepted I am aro bc of my idea of the way the world should be. Was my idea of the way the world /a person should be imposed upon me? Probably? Is it something I've made my own because I haven't accepted myself? Probably, yes. Do I still insist on it? Also, yes.
Anyway, onto the story:
This is a story bigger than trauma, bigger than abuse. Hyung always had this coming for him, not the kidnapping, not the rape, but the undoing of one's own world to build a new one. Not minimizing the trauma that Noyeol's crime had caused, but taking some distance and looking at it from a bigger perspective, it was what essentially triggered Hyung to make necessary changes in his life. Does that make the rape/kidnapping necessary? Of course not.
This to me is a story about breaking the illusion. The illusion being the front we put on, whether to fulfill an expectation (by the society, our family, or our own self), or to belong in a world we made up out of fear, comfort, or loneliness. That illusion is constant with all of the characters, sujo was trying to fill up the shoes of the good son, boguk was making himself small/not acting on his desires so he could remain a "victim", noa was trying to build a "stable" life, noyeol was trying to be hyung's savior out of his supposed love for hyung, and hyung was just trying to belong to the same world as others, not seeking to dig deep within himself even if he felt different, and I'm guessing it's because of his fear of abandonment. Boy was willing to go with his abuser because he was the only one who "needed" him alone.
Gosh I want to expound on this thought but I keep losing the words. Maybe later.
Edit: Noyeol was an illusion to Hyung. Noyeol, the younger brother of his girlfriend, Noyeol the helpless child whom Hyung could play hero to, Noyeol who kidnapped and raped Hyung, Noyeol whom Hyung risked his life for, Noyeol whom Hyung had plans on staying with.
I think it's safe to say I've come to the same conclusions dealing with my personal trauma. The betrayal lingered the longest. "How could they have done that to me? I was kind/loyal/generous/insert positive adjective here, etc/ to them! How could they throw away years-worth of bond/fondness/trust/etc. and betray me like that?" There were a lot of those. A lot of trying to understand WHY. Because it doesn't make sense. And, even if you try to become the bigger person while seeking answers, putting yourself in the shoes of the person who did what to you, at the end of the day, it still wouldn't make sense. You're only trying to come up with reasons why you deserved what was done to you. At the end of the day, it wouldn't make sense because there's no sensible reason to hurt another person like that, no sensible reason for someone to go through the physical torture, and then the agony that follows thereafter.
And because it was done by someone you knew, someone you cared about, someone you were fond of, you're not only pushed to move away from that trauma, but also from that person himself, and most importantly, from yourself as well...the you who shared a time with that person... I personally made a lot of progress realizing that what I was grieving wasn't the relationship that got destroyed after the fact but rather the old version of me who was innocent, hopeful, trusting, loving, open.
In the same sense for hyung, he attached a lot lot his identity on Noyeo, perhaps more than he realized. And having to completely erase Noyeol's existence for that one thing he did seemed like such a loss...after all, to Hyung, those times with Noyeol were probably some of the best times of his life, or were some of the times when he felt the most sense of belonging. He had to let go of all that Noyeol was to him, all the HE was to Noyeol and HIMSELF, so he could start again.
after thinking about it for a while, i've been wondering if that last explicit scene between seong su and the new black-haired guy could be an introduction to exploring/refuting the way physical arousal and biological urges are so often used to excuse rape and consent violations in a/b/omegaverse stories and bl in general.
the sex scenes are part of the story and how the characters are fleshed out in these stories ( https://www.mangago.me/home/mangatopic/22698160/) so you'd think that seong su's mindset and the new guy's attitude towards him is being shown for a reason. the creator's past works have been consistent about the point that having a physical reaction/experiencing arousal in response to being sexually assaulted doesn't negate the assault. it would also connect with how, despite the kids, seong su is generally inexperienced/naive about sex if he's never had it or experienced intimacy with someone else while fully lucid until he started doing stuff with hyeondo.
could be cope, but i really want to see a story feature characters, especially bottoms, actively and intentionally embracing and deciding their sexual interests and activity in these circumstances.