Lilypad's Things

I hate them. Theres no need for them to open mouth chew. They dont even cover their mouths, i dont wanna see that mashed up food in your mouth thats disgusting. And the sound of it grinds my gears so badly. One of my friends does it, I love him but oh my god. Im like on the verge of pulling my hair out its so goddamn annoying and gross. I can also hear him chew whenever we are on call it just grinds my gears SO badly for some reason.

This obviously applys to those who CAN chew with their mouth closed but choose not to.

What is your favourite bl or yaoi which you think should get more attention?

I read it acouple years ago before I made an account. Im pretty sure it was a manhua and it was about this guy who likes to cross dress but his girlfriend doesnt like it so she breaks up with him. He thinks he has to get more manlike so he goes to a shop to get like boy clothes and the ml works there or just helps out there and he sometimes pretends to be a mannequin

So sick of going to school and having to be around people where I cant tell if they like me half the time. Always felt like abit of an outsider my whole life anyways but holy fuck, this is just a new level. I know like two of them who i know are alright with me. Ive tried and tried to connect with them and it just isn't happening. Im not expecting us to be best buds, just dont want to feel left out and just be standing around during conversations.

I also lost a good friend of several years bc they didnt like my personality (valid. I dont expect everyone to like me.) But it made having to be around her (mutual friends)and having to interact with her makes me spiral alittle bit because if she didnt like me and was just pretending (albeit very badly) for months, what about everyone else.

Its also making me have like 'bad' thoughts, which aren't like really anything violent its more stuff I think in reactions to what she's said or about appearance. Which I dont like and I try to shut down whenever I think it but it just keeps happening. Makes me feel like a bad person bc its rude stuff I wouldn't think about others and wouldn't want others to think about me, it makes me feel icky.

I dont think ive ever been this bad mentally like this. Im like slowly coming out of this but god??? I really really miss my old friends at my other school. Wouldn't go back bc this school's workload is better for me and it has more resources but fuck man. I literally dont know why its affecting me so much because im not even planning on talking to most of them after this year anyways. I dont really dislike any of them its just we are too different like lifestyle (?) Wise, they drink alot, vape, and smoke and the way we think too.

Im going through and deleting video and photos off my socials and throwing away pictures and items ive gotten from them and oh my god i feel like a sack of shit. I dislike (?) them now but they were literally my best friend for years. I still have a lot of confusing feelings and it sucks. I dont ever want to change myself for someone but thinking back on what we had makes me want to. I would never though. Especially because i havent done anything wrong. I just miss those times.

Alot of hurt, anger and sadness is just piling up and idk what to do with it. I cant talk to my friends about it bc I dont like one on one venting and the groupchat we have one of my friends is still friends with her. I dont want to give her any pressure or something like that where she feels like she has to choose, thats just shitty. I just threw away a hug shirt we did and it made me want to bawl my eyes out. I genuinely was just being true self and speaking out about what I like and not sitting there quietly. I know there's nothing wrong with me it just makes me feel like there is. I wouldn't have stayed friends with her anyways after this year (same school) because we were becoming too different and the way she speaks about people is something I dont agree with. I dont know why it hurts this much. I was literally fine with us drifting apart.