i love freaked out old men. i love the juxtaposition of discovering and getting to know the other's state of mind as they are running away... getting closer to them the more there is distance between them. and both times the reunion felt explosive. the bottom made me feel #seen to a certain extent as an avoidant attachement person (tho the constant moving houses and making sure to meet flings/hook-ups 2 miles away from where i live was a #bitmuch) and reading the top's mind was fun and fascinating, clocked from the jump that he would've been some type of cop (#acab tho it's quite funny that he at least had the sense of responsibility to quit when he realized his mindset is one that would be dangerous for a cop to have). overall? very delicious.
me when im in the creatively bankrupt competition and the average korean bl "author" with an "idea" walks in (the idea is recycling the same generic amnesia plot point as the side story/epilogue to a finished story in an attempt to prolong their shitty webtoon so they can milk it as a cash grab, instead of making an entirely new and separate story because these frauds can't actually WRITE actual stories with proper world building and character writing that is distinguishable and compelling, they can only REGURGITATE TROPE WRITING) : *squidward_distortion.gif*
wasn't planning on continuing to read. if you were literate at all and actually tried making use of the brain that is hopefully up there in your head, minuscule as it is, you'd see that i wrote "tapped back in" and "only to get hit with dookie butt amnesia arc", implying that i haven't read this in a long time and was checking out the latest chapter only to see shit from a butt. nowhere did i mention that i have been actively reading nor did i express a desire to continue to actively read this.
lorena: *details how she has a plan over the course of the months by staying with levantes to leverage her relationship over him, is illustrated to be able to keep the plan moving by connecting with ortiz and taking the levantes seal, revises the plan when finding out that michel is still alive and talks to him about it + establishes she WILL (key word here. she is WILLINGLY choosing this) choose to live because of her baby with him* i am scared that michel showed up in front of vaye because based on past trauma and experiences vaye might shoot him dead in front of me and i am upset with him because i already talked it out with him regarding my suicidality and how i'm gonna wrap up my stay with vaye.
yall: NOOO women not smart :( women can't be trusted to follow through plan :( women must defer to men and sit passively and wait prettily for them to rescue her even when women has plan in place because we know women not smart and will never make smart plans and women also can't save herself :'( women must be grateful to men for knowing better than her and saving her. how dare women have, let alone show, any disruptive emotions at all especially to men!! also who would trust women's word when she says she is fine, gives her reason why, and explains her plan when women has been hysterical in the past. this stupid bitch LOL
first things first both chapter 15s of the 4th volume gave me such whiplash helloooo so glad they put the tw for suicide n murder at the beginning cuz it would have fucked me all the way up hello like i thot it was just gna be a suicide but oh No she straight up murked her gf,,,,,,, like yeah there are some standout moments in this manga where the vibes were giving disturbing and unsettling but i didnt realize that they were gna go so far down that route at all in for these yuri, i guess you can call them... mini spin offs? mini stories? like whoa talk about #toxicyuri ! but also on the other hand its kinda amazing seeing how much range n versatility this manga has - the semi-anthology format really helps a lot in portraying versatility ig, altho for the chapter 15 story in particular i rly wished there was another particular callback to it in the continuing main storyline... like idk, an offshoot news report talking abt it in the background? cuz i rly am curious abt what the fallout wouldve looked like,,,, like did she end up getting arrested? did anything happen to the 3rd girl who saw the body? curious. curious.
ALSOOO i went back to the part where it seemed like amami found something weird/off in the drawing of those 3 girls that kokoro drew n showed to her cuz going through this story i remembered that amami had this reaction AND the framing of it then was rly GENUIS because amami's head was actually blocking the gf's body off... so only 3 girls of the original 4 girls were shown,,, and the other girl also had black hair and so im assuming that amami didnt actually see the gf's body and she just assumed that kokoro drew her drawing like that because the other black haired girl had her back turned towards them, and so she mustge thought kokoro imagined how that girl would've looked like she was facing towards them and sat next to the other 2 girls when rly kokoro was actually drawing the gf's ghost that amami wasnt able to see fjrndnejks. absolutely amazing little detail that tipped off to the audience that something is Off the first time around they read it only to then click and make sense once you read how chapter 15's mini yuri story unfolds.
anw i rly had a lot to say abt chapter 15 huh,,,, i guess it rly did throw me off my game cause imagine my surprise when the prev chapters dealing comphet, forced marriage, homophobic discrimination, etc. didnt get any warnings (i dont rmr that any of the prev chapters do,,, i have shit memory) and then BAM! i open up chapter 15.2 and get hit in the face with a list of tw that includes SUICIDE & MURDER in it lmfaooo. crazy.
anw god this was an experience im sososo glad i finally got around to reading yuri espoir all the recommendations talking abt how goated it is was RIGHT!
anw, my personal toxic trait is believing that it's gna be a threeway amami-kokoro-mitsuru endgame even tho there has been no signs of reciprocation from kokoro to mitsuru at all and mitsuru and amami's relationship still seem moreso in the territory of turbulent allies while mitsuru's romantic interest is still solely focused on kokoro, simply because they introduced the concept of polyamory earlier and also because they introduced mitsuru's parents' woke lavender marriage gay polycule set-up lol.
oh and also probs the fact that i DONT care abt the men's sob stories at all bro like amami was SPITTING when she said that just cuz mr fiancee got a sad backstory doesnt mean he gets to do whatever he wants n be dismissive of kokoro's wants & needs in the process. like when the art teacher had his gathering with the other fuckass men i couldnt gaf about i skipped the entire thing so like... Boy i sure hope the author didn't bury any essential and/or yurious info or plot beats relevant to kokoro & amami's main story in that section! anw like i rly dgaf abt them at all when the dude's face revealed happened i rolled my eyes cuz who gaf rly... instead i was cheering mitsuru on for unsettling him n giving him a warning like that's my #GOAT fr! so all this to say,,,, those f-words need to fuck off expeditiously so i can enjoy MORE of the yuri instead ! #freekokorotillitsbackwards
this is actually peak wtf ugaki my baby,,, also sennoji giving nb baddie. very yurious but even if this doesnt end up officially yuri still excited by where the story will go just from how the sexual harrasment went down and how ugaki's experiences was treated seriously & respectfully from the first chapter yup yup











randomly stumbling into peak yuri is one of the many pleasures in life i can never get enough of.