Real Life Problems

so i have this memory when i was 6...one of my cousins went with me to the toilet and showed me his pp. i don't remember much else about it. all i know is that i want to get rid of it because i can vividly imagine it and he was only three years older than me so its like seeing someone underage when i remember it.
i don't think it should be worrying, right? it can't really mean anything since he was only 9. maybe i remembered it in the wrong context? would this count as traumatic? should i tell someone about this?
another memory i have is someone i know taking me to his room saying i could play on his games console but he just hugged and groped me instead. should i tell someone about these? is this bad?
i'm scared these might have traumatised me since sometimes i feel like i'm not clean when i shower. i also have a lot of sexual urges. i also have some nightmares too that are related to pedophilia, cousins and incest. should i tell someone? please help me what do i do?

It just doesn't feel real and I have no one to tell it to. I don't have the best relationship with my mom and she just called me pretty mad because of something I forgot to do and she said she was going to come home and leave with my stuff out of the door and that was one of the scariest experiences I had. I then spent hours cleaning the house and doing all the chores in hopes of making her change her mind. In the end, I went to meet her and she didn't come home and nothing happened. It's just... I don't know. My mom when she gets mad at me and when she's not is just too different. I need braincells made out of steel to keep myself sane.