Falling Inlove

so i fell inlove with my bestfriend when i was a child and to keep things short HE DISAPPEARED & LEFT ME WITH A MOUTH WIDE OPEN FOR ALMOST 6 YEARS AND STILL COUTING, he kinda "confessed" about having a crush on me, i didnt respond, i opened my closet wide for him, he didnt respond, now gone & ive been finding/chasing him to clear things out.
i had been dreaming of a tru-- i mean,, ive been having dreams about him lately and when i seem to forget him, my dreams comes back like its payback bitch to remind me of him again. he became my childhood when i was like 10 and he just suddenly disappeared without having a nice properly done talk after expressing his feelings SHORTLY, my old childhood frens also sometimes ask me about him and "us" or if i even have him in my friends lists in facebook (which i dont and not bothered about it.)
what im concerned about is that we never really had a nice talk and my fckng dreams are torturing me even though its not frequent that he appears on one, its just that after i dream i tend to search for why so. i searched google about it and it said that when im dreaming about someone its just that this person im dreaming of is wondering about me and its bugging me because that feeling of "hes wondering about me" bugs me.. when he just left me without saying anything..
now at the time of writing this i searched "dreams about childhood friend" and google said that i just wanted to be more irresponsible/have fun in life and it kinda makes sense.. and not im fckng confused! dear god, just why did he left me with a mouth wide open for di-- questions..., questions. i have so many things to ask him now that hes gone but i never got to ask when he appears infront of me like almost once every year?! and now he acts like he doesnt even know me or that we just never met or he never confessed! like wtf how can you not be bothered by that?
did i got something wrong? or just that im not explaining too much to supply you guys with more story?
anyways he left after he confessed and that left me confused but i dont tend to get bothered by it too much or not in a depression state cause of it or anything its just that its irritating that he left without saying anything! he never showed after that.
*im sorry if its long or there are misunderstandments, thank you if you have gotten this far and i hope i didnt waste your precious time, i just wanted answers & merry christmas + happy new year.*
ps. im a boy and hes a boy
pps. helloooo philippines
ppps. i can still see him its just that its kinda rare if i do and we act like we never know each other if we happen to cross paths