Have A Wild Imagination

i really hate myself for having such lewd thoughts and even watched av which really upsets me because i hate sex. it's disgusting.i even tried to jack before i knew it. i hate myself to much. i am so ashamed of myself. i find myself disgusting. how do you forget things like this? i have a bad memory but shitty things only stay in my mind af what should i do? :(

https://vgperson.com/games/yourturntodie/
Play it and telling me how you felt not now though.